Today was Mini Moon Pi and Big Trouble in Little Vagina's wedding in Lincoln, which was to be attended by a number of Omaha hashers. As a result, Marvin GayPal thought that only a few people might show up for his Solo Haring Debut...
...But boy, was he wrong!
The day was clear and windy, and the temperature was perfect. Chalco Hills Recreation Area is a pleasant park where lots of people jog and fish. Today there were also quite a few people drinking and singing.
The hash began when Bush Beer on Tap welcomed everyone to Omaha Hash House Harriers Hash #374. The group cheered, "On on!"
Marvin GayPal introduced himself and then acquainted everyone with his marks. He advised that, because the trail was so shiggiful, there would be no flour used. He also explained that he would be marking all the beer checks with red fabric. He reintroduced the Pi Check and the Riddle Check, as well.
Visiting Religious Advisor, Lost in Pi blessed the hare, and MGP was off, shouting "15 and 3!" over his shoulder.
Fifteen minutes to kill, and no beer? (The hashers knew better than to flout the no-alcohol policy of the park, at least so close to the main building.) Introductions were made, and time was killed with several verses of "I used to work in Chicago" and "The days of the week." During this spectacle, the virgins stood uncomfortably and considered getting back in their cars.
Soon enough, however, the group ranged out to try to find the first piece of shiggy. No Name Merinda spied a far away piece, and for the very most brief of moments, Bush Beer on Tap was an FRB while she went to check it out. Then everyone regrouped and began the trek!
The pack very quickly spread out, with Hand Solo and No Name Bil strongly in the lead. It ranged up a hill and along a ridgeline for some, and directly across a soccer field to a convergence point for others. The important thing is that the pack was reunited at the first beer check, and refreshment was had by all. There was one teetotalling virgin, and another virgin with a wheat allergy who couldn't drink regular beer, but advance-planning allowed for everyone to enjoy a beverage!
The FRBs were champing at the bit before long, so the hashers went back out on trail. It was quite a trail. There were hills. There was shiggy. Then, thankfully, there was more beer.
After that beer was dutifully consumed, the hashers ranged out again. They were all over the place. They separated out into small groups and went every which way. They coalesced once again for the first riddle check (or possibly the second. It is unknown, because the pack missed the other riddle check at some point). The riddle actually turned out to be a Nebraska trivia question, and it was answered correctly by No Name Merinda. The question was:
What beverage was invented in Hastings, Nebraska?
The answer is, of course, Kool-aid. The prize for the correct answer was that the pack got to enjoy some refreshing Kool-aid which was hidden nearby. There was initially some grumbling because the Kool-aid was not spiked with something stronger, but eventually all agreed that it was nice to have an additional refreshing drink stop, after all.
The group struck back out and again separated into clusters along a great deal of terrain. No Name Ashton and Lost in Pi disappeared, much to the chagrin of the rest of the pack when they reached the Pi Check and there was no Pi! As it turns out, Pi and No Name Ashton decided to auto-wank the rest of the trail, and therefore Pi was able to surprise the group by arriving from an entirely different direction than the one being anxiously watched. Once the group was back together (minus No Name Ashton) they progressed onward until they reached the third and final beer check. No Name Merinda was left behind at some point before that. Bush Beer on Tap was mortified that she had left her virgin unaccounted for, but was gratified when NNMerinda showed up a moment later, in true hasher style, carrying baseballs she had stopped to collect along the way. Not only that, but as NNMerinda came up the hill toward the group, she also breathlessly called BBOT out for saying "head."
Meanwhile, apart from the group, while retrieving the car with the rest of the beer in it, Marvin GayPal ran into No Name Ashton and they each drove their cars to the parking lot which was closer to the point B where the circle would be. MGP instructed Ashton as to where he could meet the rest of the pack. MGP got back to the area he had designated for the circle with the heavy cooler just in time to see the FRBs cresting the hill. The timing was ideal. Shortly after BBOT finally hauled her sorry ass into circle, No Name Ashton reappeared and chastised MGP for neglecting to tell him that he would have to cross a creek to get there from the lot, especially since his prosthetic foot had gotten stuck in the mud and he'd had to take it off to get out!
Bush Beer on Tap called the circle to order. There were violations, there were songs, and there was a spontaneous naming! On his third hash, No Name Josh earned his hash name. From this day forward, in hashes around the world, No Name Josh will henceforth be known as "Stuck Hard"!
After circle was closed and people meandered back to their vehicles, most of the participants met back up at Buffalo Wild Wings, where food was enjoyed.
In attendance were:
Marvin GayPal - hare, Omaha
Bush Beer on Tap - ersatz officiate, Omaha
Lager Head - visitor, Lincoln
Lost in Pi - visiting RA, Lincoln
Bronzz Bunzz - visitor, Lincoln
Hand Solo - Omaha
Dot Cum - Omaha
Spawn of Satan - Omaha
No name Ashton - Omaha
No Name EJ - virgin, Omaha
No Name Laura - virgin, Omaha
No Name CJ - virgin, Omaha
No Name Merinda - virgin, Omaha
No Name Bil - virgin, Omaha
Stuck Hard - formerly No Name Josh, Omaha
Photos are available in BBOTs hashing flickr collection.
Showing posts with label photos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label photos. Show all posts
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Red Dress Recap
I had been looking forward to the weekend of September 25th for months. I was the 3rd person to hand my money to Once Over Easy way back when she opened up registration. The events scheduled were to be a Pay-as-you-go Commando Kilt Pub Crawl on Friday night (LNEH3 #203), then the Red Dress Run on Saturday (LNEH3 #204), and then the Hangover Hash on Sunday morning (LNEH3 #205).
LNEH3 #203
I joined the Friday night Kilt hash, already in progress, while they were stopped at the Zoo bar. One of the first sights I was treated to was that of 2X4 in one of the tallest pairs of platform heels I have ever actually seen on a person, and a very tiny kilt. Gradually I worked my way through the crowd and saw many people I had not seen in many hashes, some I had not seen since last year's Red Dress Run, and I met a few new people. Lots of hugs were exchanged, and introductions made, and beer was poured. I was treated to beer by Tent Erectile Dysfunction and UPMS. Both of them are stand-up guys.
Eventually, after we had so sufficiently drained the bar of its cool that we were far cooler than it, we moved on to the next location. This was on O street off 14th and I cannot for the life of me remember the name, but it was a few doors around the corner from places where gyros and falafel could be had, and Marvin GayPal and I parted from the group in pursuit of those things, because I had been thinking about them since the day before. We rejoined the group with garlicky breath, and entered to find enormous fishbowls of red and blue alcohol being served to frat boys. One of them even had a popped collar. I swear! This time, Extenze For Menz was kind enough to provide me with beer.
Now, by this time, I had had a few beers, and time was no longer behaving in a precise linear manner, or at least it seems that way upon recollection. Basically what I am getting at is that I can't remember the exact order of events after this. I suppose if I remembered Lincoln geography better I would be better able to reconstruct events, but I don't, so I can't. Cope. So next we either came to the bar with the cover or the porn store. I think it was the bar, so I'm going to tell it that way.
We moved along and decided not to stop at the bar that had a cover charge. Instead, we went next door to The Watering Hole, which is actually a nifty little place with really good prices. I'm told they also have tasty wings. I waited on line for a pitcher for a minute or so, and then asked MGP to do it for me because I had to go pee. In the bathroom, I was treated to a show because one of the stalls did not have a door. Fun!
After we left the Watering Hole, we walked through a spattering of rain until we reached Ye Olde Porne Shoppe, which has lately become a staple of any trail in downtown Lincoln. The really cool clerk who was so enamored of us when we were there during the Monica Lewinsky Blue Dress Hash had to leave, so instead we were subjected to a surly man who was entirely reminiscent of Dante from Clerks - "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" He grumbled as we browsed, and stormed around closing doors and putting things down with great vigor. MGP and I decided it would be infinitely more enjoyable to go smooch in a doorway rather than be there. Finally, we went on and ended up at the On-In (don't ask me the name of the bar, for I have forgotten).
During the circle, those being called in for violations were instructed to sit their commando asses on bags of ice on a bench. MGP and I did not get busted for canoodling. Ha! I don't know what people actually did get busted for, however, because it was cold and drizzly, and like I said, I was getting tipsy.
We made it back to the hotel, where leftover food was waiting. Many of us played a few hands of Apples to Apples, though a little bird says that someone's hand was playing with something else entirely. (Don't do it in public if you don't want it blabbed!) Gradually, people stumbled off to their beds or someone else's, and presumably to sleep.
LNEH3 #204
Saturday was a gorgeous day. MGP and I got up and scarfed our continental breakfast, and then made our way in search of a Kinkos (leaving behind a hotel full of kinkos) so that I could run off a couple hundred copies of my FAQ for distribution to curious bystanders. Then we got back and settled in to watch the accumulation of red-dressed hashers. I helped Lager Head select just the right gown. Several of us watched Little Head put deodorant on his ballular area. I'm not sure if it was meant to prevent chafing or to prevent odor, but if it was the latter, I am glad he was thoughtful enough to do that!
We milled around until we were bored, and then loaded ourselves into the vans that would be carrying us to our start location, which was Haymarket Park. There was a smattering of tailgaters in that parking lot, and we were the subject of their interest and photography. Tent Erectile Dysfunction decided to ignore the immediate proximity of actual bathrooms, and opted instead to urinate publicly inside a dumpster. An ice cream truck came by and one of the ladies inside asked if she could have a picture taken with some of the men in dresses.
We gathered for Chalk Talk and blessed our hares and sent them on their way. Then we had introductions and a rousing rendition of Father Abraham, led by Woody Wouldn't Pecker. There was a last minute shuffle to bathrooms, and then we were On-On our way!
We traveled through and past some parties in some yards and parking lots, and stopped to collect money for the American Cancer Society. VH1 developed her strategy of coyly asking men if they wanted to put something in her slot, and MGP developed his strategy of threatening to show them his adult male ass if they didn't donate. 2X4 just walked around being tall and freakish in his slinky short dress, and the donations came pouring in.
Our first beer stop was in the driveway and on the lawn of a very interesting house that was bedecked with a lot of decoration, including statues of large animals for us to climb on and pose for pictures. The owners of the house were an older couple who looked overwhelmed by and a little scared of us. It was at this stop, as I observed the faces of some frat boys driving past us, when I truly, fully realized something I had been sort of noticing the whole time. A large percentage of the people with whom we interacted were simply tickled by the spectacle. However, a significant number, maybe 25%, were seemingly outraged that these men in dresses were parading around in their town. It entertained me to no end when this became apparent to me. I wished I were a man so I could increase the threat to their heterosexuality.
We pressed on, and soon the collectors of donations were too clustered and were trying to work on the same people over and over again. Eventually, the neighborhood led to a stream and a bridge. Some of us shortcutted by stepping on some rocks in the stream, while others went the long way around on the bridge. Skunk Chaser split the difference and went down to the stream but stayed on the near side. He turned out to be right, because we all had to cross back over a different bridge and we ended up right where he was. Then the group really split for the first time, and some very experienced hashers were suckered into a Backcheck 10 while the rest guessed and found the correct path. We got ourselves situated on the right course and eventually happened upon a parking garage with an elevator that would bring us to the top floor. Hashers, being who they are, jumped and shook the elevator and tested its weight tolerance. Luckily, we did not break the elevator. We made it up to the roof and found the beerwagons. Bronzz Bunzz was also giving away jello shots, of which I had several.
It starts to get hazy after that. I know we went by the stadium. I know we went to the Zoo bar again. I know that some lady gave us all these inflatable noise-making bopper things. I know we went to an outdoor beer garden, and MGP got on the microphone to tell people we were collecting for the American Cancer Society. Beyond that, the rest is conjecture.
We eventually got back to the start point and got bussed back to the hotel. Those who had tickets to the game went to it. 2X4 didn't have time to change and so he attended the game in his dress and stockings. He was up on the Jumbotron, and even made it into a news article. The rest of us ate barbecue ribs and chilled for a while. Then we had the circle by, around, and in, the pool. No Name Wade and Tank Stripper were thrown in the pool, and MGP opted to fall in with a cup of beer. As penance for the waste of alcohol, he drank the cup of pool water. Ew. Srsly. There was a random dude sitting by the pool, but he was a good sport and did a couple of down downs. Hey, free beer, right?
That night, many of the hashers went to the bar across the parking lot to do karaoke. I opted out, so I have no stories to tell about that.
LNEH3 #205
Sunday morning, we sat, bleary-eyed and nursing our coffees. Bunzz hustled about briskly, in her usual way. Then she went off to lay trail. The rest of us followed her and found the trail leading around the hotel and back inside the same door. We had our circle sitting down, and named a hasher. No Name Mark, the owner of many tools, the boyfriend/husband/whatever of 2 Years Fucking, is now and will forever more be known as Drill Bitch! I came up with the name, so I'm pretty proud of that. He wanted a name he could tell his kids about, but we told him he was a hasher and to stop being a pussy. If he really wants to, he can clean it up to be Drill Bits, I suppose (pussy).
Bunzz called a vote to see who wanted to do the Red Dress in Lincoln next year. She offered those of us prepared to put cash in her hand immediately an early bird discounted rate.
Hugs were exchanged and rooms were checked out of. Shampoo and Conditioner were stolen from a housekeeping cart. We went our separate ways.
Stats
The count for funds raised on Saturday was $969.69 (yes, someone donated a few cents to get it to that) and by Sunday we were over $1000 raised.
According to Once Over Easy, this is the list of attendees:
2x4 - Bisbee, Arizona
2 Yrs Fucking - Omaha, Nebraska
Blow My Toes - Grand Island, Nebraska
Bronzz Bunzz - Lincoln, Nebraska
Bush Beer On Tap - Omaha, Nebraska
Chihuahua - Kansas City, Kansas
Chocolate Creampie - Omaha, Nebraska
Deep Frodo - Omaha, Nebraska
Draggin' Her Nookie - Lincoln, Nebraska
Extenze For Menz - Kansas City, Kansas
Fast Chug - Kansas City, Kansas
Finger Wave - Omaha, Nebraska
Fuck My Mom - Kansas City, Kansas
Hold The Meat - San Antonio, Texas
Hose Puller - Lincoln, Nebraska
Hot Sement - Omaha, Nebraska
Jailbait - Omaha, Nebraska
Kitty Litter - Omaha, Nebraska
Lager Head - Lincoln, Nebraska
Little Head aka Shut Yer Manhole - Denver, Colorado
Lost In Pi - Lincoln, Nebraska
Marvin GayPal - Omaha, Nebraska
Mile High Mother Fucker - Omaha, Nebraska
No Blow - Lincoln, Nebraska
Just Kate
Just Liz - Sioux Falls, Iowa
Drill Bitch - Omaha, Nebraska
Just Wade - Manhattan (Ft Riley), Kansas
Just Tyler - Lincoln, Nebraska
Once Over Easy - Lincoln, Nebraska
Package Checker - San Antonio, Texas
Penguin Pucker - Omaha, Nebraska
Pinche Pinocha - Omaha, Nebraska
Services Retard - Kansas City, Kansas
Sex Toy Story - Omaha, Nebraska
Skunk Chaser - Kansas City, Kansas
Spring Loaded Pussy - Omaha, Nebraska
Tank Stripper - Lincoln, Nebraska
T.E.D.
Tits In My Face - Lincoln, Nebraska
Blutarsky - Lincoln, Nebraska
Flashing Headlights -
Just Tyler - Lincoln, Nebraska
Tooth Fairy - Kansas City, Kansas
UPMS - Boise, Idaho
Urine Sodomy - Omaha, Nebraska
VH(1) - Shelley Mathews
Virgin Whisperer - Omaha, Nebraska
Walkie Talkie - Lincoln, Nebraska
Woody Wouldn't Pecker - Omaha, Nebraska
Just Brad - Sierra, Arizona
Big Trouble Little Vagina - Lincoln, Nebraska
Mini Moon Pie - Lincoln, Nebraska
Whack-A-Mole - Omaha, Nebraska
Just Mary - Omaha, Nebraska
Epilogue
On the way home, I wrote three more Down Down songs, and MGP decided spontaneously that we should go check the site of the campout the month prior, to see if we could find his lanyard with his whistle and bottle opener, both of which had sentimental value. We lucked out and found it! Huzzah!
More pictures and video can be found on my Flickr site, and are becoming available in dribs and drabs from other Red Dress attendees. Check http://www.nebraskahashing.com at some point in the future, and they will likely be linked from there.
P.S. I do not think that Drill Bitch is actually a pussy.
LNEH3 #203
I joined the Friday night Kilt hash, already in progress, while they were stopped at the Zoo bar. One of the first sights I was treated to was that of 2X4 in one of the tallest pairs of platform heels I have ever actually seen on a person, and a very tiny kilt. Gradually I worked my way through the crowd and saw many people I had not seen in many hashes, some I had not seen since last year's Red Dress Run, and I met a few new people. Lots of hugs were exchanged, and introductions made, and beer was poured. I was treated to beer by Tent Erectile Dysfunction and UPMS. Both of them are stand-up guys.
Eventually, after we had so sufficiently drained the bar of its cool that we were far cooler than it, we moved on to the next location. This was on O street off 14th and I cannot for the life of me remember the name, but it was a few doors around the corner from places where gyros and falafel could be had, and Marvin GayPal and I parted from the group in pursuit of those things, because I had been thinking about them since the day before. We rejoined the group with garlicky breath, and entered to find enormous fishbowls of red and blue alcohol being served to frat boys. One of them even had a popped collar. I swear! This time, Extenze For Menz was kind enough to provide me with beer.
Now, by this time, I had had a few beers, and time was no longer behaving in a precise linear manner, or at least it seems that way upon recollection. Basically what I am getting at is that I can't remember the exact order of events after this. I suppose if I remembered Lincoln geography better I would be better able to reconstruct events, but I don't, so I can't. Cope. So next we either came to the bar with the cover or the porn store. I think it was the bar, so I'm going to tell it that way.
We moved along and decided not to stop at the bar that had a cover charge. Instead, we went next door to The Watering Hole, which is actually a nifty little place with really good prices. I'm told they also have tasty wings. I waited on line for a pitcher for a minute or so, and then asked MGP to do it for me because I had to go pee. In the bathroom, I was treated to a show because one of the stalls did not have a door. Fun!
After we left the Watering Hole, we walked through a spattering of rain until we reached Ye Olde Porne Shoppe, which has lately become a staple of any trail in downtown Lincoln. The really cool clerk who was so enamored of us when we were there during the Monica Lewinsky Blue Dress Hash had to leave, so instead we were subjected to a surly man who was entirely reminiscent of Dante from Clerks - "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" He grumbled as we browsed, and stormed around closing doors and putting things down with great vigor. MGP and I decided it would be infinitely more enjoyable to go smooch in a doorway rather than be there. Finally, we went on and ended up at the On-In (don't ask me the name of the bar, for I have forgotten).
During the circle, those being called in for violations were instructed to sit their commando asses on bags of ice on a bench. MGP and I did not get busted for canoodling. Ha! I don't know what people actually did get busted for, however, because it was cold and drizzly, and like I said, I was getting tipsy.
We made it back to the hotel, where leftover food was waiting. Many of us played a few hands of Apples to Apples, though a little bird says that someone's hand was playing with something else entirely. (Don't do it in public if you don't want it blabbed!) Gradually, people stumbled off to their beds or someone else's, and presumably to sleep.
LNEH3 #204
Saturday was a gorgeous day. MGP and I got up and scarfed our continental breakfast, and then made our way in search of a Kinkos (leaving behind a hotel full of kinkos) so that I could run off a couple hundred copies of my FAQ for distribution to curious bystanders. Then we got back and settled in to watch the accumulation of red-dressed hashers. I helped Lager Head select just the right gown. Several of us watched Little Head put deodorant on his ballular area. I'm not sure if it was meant to prevent chafing or to prevent odor, but if it was the latter, I am glad he was thoughtful enough to do that!
We milled around until we were bored, and then loaded ourselves into the vans that would be carrying us to our start location, which was Haymarket Park. There was a smattering of tailgaters in that parking lot, and we were the subject of their interest and photography. Tent Erectile Dysfunction decided to ignore the immediate proximity of actual bathrooms, and opted instead to urinate publicly inside a dumpster. An ice cream truck came by and one of the ladies inside asked if she could have a picture taken with some of the men in dresses.
We gathered for Chalk Talk and blessed our hares and sent them on their way. Then we had introductions and a rousing rendition of Father Abraham, led by Woody Wouldn't Pecker. There was a last minute shuffle to bathrooms, and then we were On-On our way!
We traveled through and past some parties in some yards and parking lots, and stopped to collect money for the American Cancer Society. VH1 developed her strategy of coyly asking men if they wanted to put something in her slot, and MGP developed his strategy of threatening to show them his adult male ass if they didn't donate. 2X4 just walked around being tall and freakish in his slinky short dress, and the donations came pouring in.
Our first beer stop was in the driveway and on the lawn of a very interesting house that was bedecked with a lot of decoration, including statues of large animals for us to climb on and pose for pictures. The owners of the house were an older couple who looked overwhelmed by and a little scared of us. It was at this stop, as I observed the faces of some frat boys driving past us, when I truly, fully realized something I had been sort of noticing the whole time. A large percentage of the people with whom we interacted were simply tickled by the spectacle. However, a significant number, maybe 25%, were seemingly outraged that these men in dresses were parading around in their town. It entertained me to no end when this became apparent to me. I wished I were a man so I could increase the threat to their heterosexuality.
We pressed on, and soon the collectors of donations were too clustered and were trying to work on the same people over and over again. Eventually, the neighborhood led to a stream and a bridge. Some of us shortcutted by stepping on some rocks in the stream, while others went the long way around on the bridge. Skunk Chaser split the difference and went down to the stream but stayed on the near side. He turned out to be right, because we all had to cross back over a different bridge and we ended up right where he was. Then the group really split for the first time, and some very experienced hashers were suckered into a Backcheck 10 while the rest guessed and found the correct path. We got ourselves situated on the right course and eventually happened upon a parking garage with an elevator that would bring us to the top floor. Hashers, being who they are, jumped and shook the elevator and tested its weight tolerance. Luckily, we did not break the elevator. We made it up to the roof and found the beerwagons. Bronzz Bunzz was also giving away jello shots, of which I had several.
It starts to get hazy after that. I know we went by the stadium. I know we went to the Zoo bar again. I know that some lady gave us all these inflatable noise-making bopper things. I know we went to an outdoor beer garden, and MGP got on the microphone to tell people we were collecting for the American Cancer Society. Beyond that, the rest is conjecture.
We eventually got back to the start point and got bussed back to the hotel. Those who had tickets to the game went to it. 2X4 didn't have time to change and so he attended the game in his dress and stockings. He was up on the Jumbotron, and even made it into a news article. The rest of us ate barbecue ribs and chilled for a while. Then we had the circle by, around, and in, the pool. No Name Wade and Tank Stripper were thrown in the pool, and MGP opted to fall in with a cup of beer. As penance for the waste of alcohol, he drank the cup of pool water. Ew. Srsly. There was a random dude sitting by the pool, but he was a good sport and did a couple of down downs. Hey, free beer, right?
That night, many of the hashers went to the bar across the parking lot to do karaoke. I opted out, so I have no stories to tell about that.
LNEH3 #205
Sunday morning, we sat, bleary-eyed and nursing our coffees. Bunzz hustled about briskly, in her usual way. Then she went off to lay trail. The rest of us followed her and found the trail leading around the hotel and back inside the same door. We had our circle sitting down, and named a hasher. No Name Mark, the owner of many tools, the boyfriend/husband/whatever of 2 Years Fucking, is now and will forever more be known as Drill Bitch! I came up with the name, so I'm pretty proud of that. He wanted a name he could tell his kids about, but we told him he was a hasher and to stop being a pussy. If he really wants to, he can clean it up to be Drill Bits, I suppose (pussy).
Bunzz called a vote to see who wanted to do the Red Dress in Lincoln next year. She offered those of us prepared to put cash in her hand immediately an early bird discounted rate.
Hugs were exchanged and rooms were checked out of. Shampoo and Conditioner were stolen from a housekeeping cart. We went our separate ways.
Stats
The count for funds raised on Saturday was $969.69 (yes, someone donated a few cents to get it to that) and by Sunday we were over $1000 raised.
According to Once Over Easy, this is the list of attendees:
2x4 - Bisbee, Arizona
2 Yrs Fucking - Omaha, Nebraska
Blow My Toes - Grand Island, Nebraska
Bronzz Bunzz - Lincoln, Nebraska
Bush Beer On Tap - Omaha, Nebraska
Chihuahua - Kansas City, Kansas
Chocolate Creampie - Omaha, Nebraska
Deep Frodo - Omaha, Nebraska
Draggin' Her Nookie - Lincoln, Nebraska
Extenze For Menz - Kansas City, Kansas
Fast Chug - Kansas City, Kansas
Finger Wave - Omaha, Nebraska
Fuck My Mom - Kansas City, Kansas
Hold The Meat - San Antonio, Texas
Hose Puller - Lincoln, Nebraska
Hot Sement - Omaha, Nebraska
Jailbait - Omaha, Nebraska
Kitty Litter - Omaha, Nebraska
Lager Head - Lincoln, Nebraska
Little Head aka Shut Yer Manhole - Denver, Colorado
Lost In Pi - Lincoln, Nebraska
Marvin GayPal - Omaha, Nebraska
Mile High Mother Fucker - Omaha, Nebraska
No Blow - Lincoln, Nebraska
Just Kate
Just Liz - Sioux Falls, Iowa
Drill Bitch - Omaha, Nebraska
Just Wade - Manhattan (Ft Riley), Kansas
Just Tyler - Lincoln, Nebraska
Once Over Easy - Lincoln, Nebraska
Package Checker - San Antonio, Texas
Penguin Pucker - Omaha, Nebraska
Pinche Pinocha - Omaha, Nebraska
Services Retard - Kansas City, Kansas
Sex Toy Story - Omaha, Nebraska
Skunk Chaser - Kansas City, Kansas
Spring Loaded Pussy - Omaha, Nebraska
Tank Stripper - Lincoln, Nebraska
T.E.D.
Tits In My Face - Lincoln, Nebraska
Blutarsky - Lincoln, Nebraska
Flashing Headlights -
Just Tyler - Lincoln, Nebraska
Tooth Fairy - Kansas City, Kansas
UPMS - Boise, Idaho
Urine Sodomy - Omaha, Nebraska
VH(1) - Shelley Mathews
Virgin Whisperer - Omaha, Nebraska
Walkie Talkie - Lincoln, Nebraska
Woody Wouldn't Pecker - Omaha, Nebraska
Just Brad - Sierra, Arizona
Big Trouble Little Vagina - Lincoln, Nebraska
Mini Moon Pie - Lincoln, Nebraska
Whack-A-Mole - Omaha, Nebraska
Just Mary - Omaha, Nebraska
Epilogue
On the way home, I wrote three more Down Down songs, and MGP decided spontaneously that we should go check the site of the campout the month prior, to see if we could find his lanyard with his whistle and bottle opener, both of which had sentimental value. We lucked out and found it! Huzzah!
More pictures and video can be found on my Flickr site, and are becoming available in dribs and drabs from other Red Dress attendees. Check http://www.nebraskahashing.com at some point in the future, and they will likely be linked from there.
P.S. I do not think that Drill Bitch is actually a pussy.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
OH3 #349 - Back to the Stockyards/Cinco de Mayo Pub Crawl Hash
This here’s a story ‘bout a man named Jed…
(No, wait a sec, that’s not right.)
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
(Hmm, no, that isn’t it either.)
Okay, so picture it, Sicily, 1942…
(Oh, for the love of – )
It was crisp and gorgeous, and we were wearing denim.
(Ooh, much better.)
We congregated in the Stockyard Plaza, and awaited the hares who would lead us on a merry chase through Little Tijuana. Having been instructed to dress in cowboy/cowgirl attire and/or dress for Cinco de Mayo, the little touches to the participants’ costumes made all the difference. Does This Mean it’s Over was stylin’ in his tight jeans and cowboy shirt. Thanks for the Mammaries was authentic in her chola eyebrow pencil and lip liner and Mexican flag bandana. I wore blue eyeshadow and turquoise jewelry. Master Beater made sure to inform us all repeatedly that he was wearing a shirt that had the word “Taco” on it.
The hares arrived. Sex Toy Story was absent, but Finger Wave was there with the “surprise guest hare from Mexico”, who was in fact Once Over Easy dressed in fishnets, a tight red dress, and a matching mariachi jacket and sombrero. It was so over the top that it was somehow believable that she has been lying about her ethnicity all along.
The hares were blessed and sent on their way. Then Deep Frodo arrived with his virgin, No Name Genie, and we went over the chalk talk again for her benefit. When a sufficient amount of time had elapsed, we began our jaunt through the HyVee parking lot, pointing out blobs of flour to the virgin, who was already racking up the violations by talking on her cell phone. We travelled for many long days and nights until we reached Donohue’s, about a block away. A block away. Really. Also, it’s an Irish pub. What happened to the theme? Sheesh.
The group rapidly drank their beers and watched the air force hashers sit stock-still with mostly-full cups. I thought the air force taught you how to drink, but apparently it teaches you how to cuddle with a beer until it turns warm and all your friends grow impatient. Finally, they finished and we pushed on-on. Well, most of us did.
Over the next few blocks, we made a few discoveries. We discovered that Tits Ahoy’s whistle sounds like a lonely falcon. We discovered that the police are THICK in that part of town. We also discovered that we no longer had Thanks for the Mammaries or Master Beater with us. *sigh.* We decided to press on without them and hope they’d catch up.
We came to a Hash Halt/Photo Op in front of some metal statues of cattle. We, being typical hashers, violated the cattle in various ways for the benefit of photography. The cattle exacted their revenge by ripping the pocket of my favorite jeans. Bastard metal cattle. *grumble.*
We pressed on, and managed to get lost and miss a turn. We spent a good 15 minutes or so correcting for this mistake, but eventually found trail again. We arrived at a bar that appeared to be called “Bar”. Therein we found some really friendly folks who shared chicken and funnel cakes with us. They also gave us wise advice since we were next going to be venturing into the Cinco de Mayo street fair – “put your wallets up under your titties so no one can get to ‘em unless you let them!” We accepted this sage suggestion, but I did not see any wallet-booby placement. Luckily, we did not pay for our arrogant disregard for their wisdom, since no one’s wallet was stolen.
The next leg of the journey brought us within the street fair. There was another Hash Halt marking, with a scrambly line that was to represent a funnel cake. It was a very good likeness, but they should have dusted some flour over it to represent powdered sugar, I think. Anyway, some people bought duros, some got cotton candy, and I bought a funnel cake since they didn’t have them at the Renaissance Festival I attended earlier in the day (no funnel cakes at a Ren Faire? Seriously? That’s simply unacceptable. But, I digress.)
After our various treats were purchased, we got lost in the street fair, following what we thought were hash marks, but which turned out to be powdered sugar from the funnel cake vendors. Once VW calibrated with Finger Wave via forbidden technology, we found our way back on the right trail. We then travelled a long stretch of road, and through some soccer fields where we found and played with a child’s bouncy ball in the dark, and eventually came to the end of trail, where Finger Wave and Once Over Easy were waiting with jello shots and chips with salsa and queso on the other side of a border crossing that contained a package check and a boob check. The chips were especially well liked by many people, and were the subject of much discussion.
Eventually, Finger Wave brought me and VW and Spring-Loaded Pussy back to where our cars were parked. VW and Spring piled into the front seat together, while I was all alone in the back seat. This is due to the fact that Spring and VW are incapable of being more than 4 inches apart for more than 40 seconds, and I happened to get in the car first.
VW and Spring headed (who said head?) back to ferry people to their cars, and I got into my car and drove home to put lidocaine on my feet and change my shoes from the instruments of torture that I had been wearing. Then I met the group at Winchester’s. The timing was ideal, as I had just enough time to put in my karaoke selection before we were heading to the beer garden to circle up.
The circle was a blast. Thanks for the Mammaries and Master Beater rejoined us, and Mammaries paid with a Deadbug and then a Towering Deadbug. Some of the Winchester’s regulars joined the circle and decided that they want to come on a hash in the future. We celebrated May birthdays and were reminded that Outdoor Fucking Season is now open – no license required! Much beer was consumed, and many songs were sung. We ended with the women’s version of Swing Low, and most of the group stayed for karaoke. When I left at 12:30ish, the group was still a respectable size and fun was continuing to be had.
So folks, thus ends another hash trash. Pictures and videos will be uploaded to http://www.nebraskahashing.com when Woody and I can find time to coordinate, but until then they will be made available on my Flickr Hash Set.
In Attendance:
Once Over Easy – hare
Finger Wave – hare
Flamboyatron
Tits Ahoy
Deep Frodo
No Name Genie – virgin
Virgin Whisperer
Spring-Loaded Pussy
Bush Beer on Tap
Does This Mean it’s Over
Thanks for the Mammaries
Master Beater
Hot Semen-tuh
Kitty Litter (for the on-in)
More pictures and videos from this trail can be found in my Flickr Hash Set.
(No, wait a sec, that’s not right.)
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
(Hmm, no, that isn’t it either.)
Okay, so picture it, Sicily, 1942…
(Oh, for the love of – )
It was crisp and gorgeous, and we were wearing denim.
(Ooh, much better.)
We congregated in the Stockyard Plaza, and awaited the hares who would lead us on a merry chase through Little Tijuana. Having been instructed to dress in cowboy/cowgirl attire and/or dress for Cinco de Mayo, the little touches to the participants’ costumes made all the difference. Does This Mean it’s Over was stylin’ in his tight jeans and cowboy shirt. Thanks for the Mammaries was authentic in her chola eyebrow pencil and lip liner and Mexican flag bandana. I wore blue eyeshadow and turquoise jewelry. Master Beater made sure to inform us all repeatedly that he was wearing a shirt that had the word “Taco” on it.
The hares arrived. Sex Toy Story was absent, but Finger Wave was there with the “surprise guest hare from Mexico”, who was in fact Once Over Easy dressed in fishnets, a tight red dress, and a matching mariachi jacket and sombrero. It was so over the top that it was somehow believable that she has been lying about her ethnicity all along.
The hares were blessed and sent on their way. Then Deep Frodo arrived with his virgin, No Name Genie, and we went over the chalk talk again for her benefit. When a sufficient amount of time had elapsed, we began our jaunt through the HyVee parking lot, pointing out blobs of flour to the virgin, who was already racking up the violations by talking on her cell phone. We travelled for many long days and nights until we reached Donohue’s, about a block away. A block away. Really. Also, it’s an Irish pub. What happened to the theme? Sheesh.
The group rapidly drank their beers and watched the air force hashers sit stock-still with mostly-full cups. I thought the air force taught you how to drink, but apparently it teaches you how to cuddle with a beer until it turns warm and all your friends grow impatient. Finally, they finished and we pushed on-on. Well, most of us did.
Over the next few blocks, we made a few discoveries. We discovered that Tits Ahoy’s whistle sounds like a lonely falcon. We discovered that the police are THICK in that part of town. We also discovered that we no longer had Thanks for the Mammaries or Master Beater with us. *sigh.* We decided to press on without them and hope they’d catch up.
We came to a Hash Halt/Photo Op in front of some metal statues of cattle. We, being typical hashers, violated the cattle in various ways for the benefit of photography. The cattle exacted their revenge by ripping the pocket of my favorite jeans. Bastard metal cattle. *grumble.*
We pressed on, and managed to get lost and miss a turn. We spent a good 15 minutes or so correcting for this mistake, but eventually found trail again. We arrived at a bar that appeared to be called “Bar”. Therein we found some really friendly folks who shared chicken and funnel cakes with us. They also gave us wise advice since we were next going to be venturing into the Cinco de Mayo street fair – “put your wallets up under your titties so no one can get to ‘em unless you let them!” We accepted this sage suggestion, but I did not see any wallet-booby placement. Luckily, we did not pay for our arrogant disregard for their wisdom, since no one’s wallet was stolen.
The next leg of the journey brought us within the street fair. There was another Hash Halt marking, with a scrambly line that was to represent a funnel cake. It was a very good likeness, but they should have dusted some flour over it to represent powdered sugar, I think. Anyway, some people bought duros, some got cotton candy, and I bought a funnel cake since they didn’t have them at the Renaissance Festival I attended earlier in the day (no funnel cakes at a Ren Faire? Seriously? That’s simply unacceptable. But, I digress.)
After our various treats were purchased, we got lost in the street fair, following what we thought were hash marks, but which turned out to be powdered sugar from the funnel cake vendors. Once VW calibrated with Finger Wave via forbidden technology, we found our way back on the right trail. We then travelled a long stretch of road, and through some soccer fields where we found and played with a child’s bouncy ball in the dark, and eventually came to the end of trail, where Finger Wave and Once Over Easy were waiting with jello shots and chips with salsa and queso on the other side of a border crossing that contained a package check and a boob check. The chips were especially well liked by many people, and were the subject of much discussion.
Eventually, Finger Wave brought me and VW and Spring-Loaded Pussy back to where our cars were parked. VW and Spring piled into the front seat together, while I was all alone in the back seat. This is due to the fact that Spring and VW are incapable of being more than 4 inches apart for more than 40 seconds, and I happened to get in the car first.
VW and Spring headed (who said head?) back to ferry people to their cars, and I got into my car and drove home to put lidocaine on my feet and change my shoes from the instruments of torture that I had been wearing. Then I met the group at Winchester’s. The timing was ideal, as I had just enough time to put in my karaoke selection before we were heading to the beer garden to circle up.
The circle was a blast. Thanks for the Mammaries and Master Beater rejoined us, and Mammaries paid with a Deadbug and then a Towering Deadbug. Some of the Winchester’s regulars joined the circle and decided that they want to come on a hash in the future. We celebrated May birthdays and were reminded that Outdoor Fucking Season is now open – no license required! Much beer was consumed, and many songs were sung. We ended with the women’s version of Swing Low, and most of the group stayed for karaoke. When I left at 12:30ish, the group was still a respectable size and fun was continuing to be had.
So folks, thus ends another hash trash. Pictures and videos will be uploaded to http://www.nebraskahashing.com when Woody and I can find time to coordinate, but until then they will be made available on my Flickr Hash Set.
In Attendance:
Once Over Easy – hare
Finger Wave – hare
Flamboyatron
Tits Ahoy
Deep Frodo
No Name Genie – virgin
Virgin Whisperer
Spring-Loaded Pussy
Bush Beer on Tap
Does This Mean it’s Over
Thanks for the Mammaries
Master Beater
Hot Semen-tuh
Kitty Litter (for the on-in)
More pictures and videos from this trail can be found in my Flickr Hash Set.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Hash catch-up
So let's see. I co-hared in Lincoln for LNEH3 #192, which was a kilted hash
... and I attended OH3 #348, which was a going-away for some hashers
I also attended a slew of other hashes that it appears I haven't been cataloging here. Oopsie.
I'm still working on getting the pics up on the NebraskaHashing site, but technical difficulties are in the way.
In the meanwhile, pics and videos from the afore-mentioned hashes and many others can be found on my Flickr site.
Alas, I will not be able to make it for the Lincoln hash this weekend, as I will be out of town.
... and I attended OH3 #348, which was a going-away for some hashers
I also attended a slew of other hashes that it appears I haven't been cataloging here. Oopsie.
I'm still working on getting the pics up on the NebraskaHashing site, but technical difficulties are in the way.
In the meanwhile, pics and videos from the afore-mentioned hashes and many others can be found on my Flickr site.
Alas, I will not be able to make it for the Lincoln hash this weekend, as I will be out of town.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
OH3 #328 - Voted Off the Island Hash
Hold the Meat (Hash Flash) and Flamboyatron (Hash Scribe) were both in attendance, so there will be an official write up at this link, here. However, I did take a few pictures, and this particular Hash was a milestone event for me, so I am certainly blogging about it! Moreover, because this is not an official Hash Trash, I don't have to be snarky and sarcastic and witty, and can say what I really feel. Of course, what I really feel is generally snarky and sarcastic and witty, so we'll see how that goes. Yay!
This was my Virgin Hare. I co-hared with Penguin Pucker and Deep Frodo, and they were really great teammates. They were supportive and cooperative and easygoing and are both altogether awesome people that I am really glad to have as friends.
The co-founders of the Omaha chapter (Forrest Gimp and On Her Knees) showed up after a long hiatus, and without warning. This was extremely intimidating for me because it was my first time haring, but it was also a great honor. It was a good thing they were on hand to run the circle at the end, since almost all of the officers were indisposed for one reason or another by that time.
There was a naming - No Name Amber became Package Checker. She likes her name, even if a little less than half of the voting-eligible attendees hated it. I think it suits her just fine.
There was a named hasher in attendance who was completely true to her name when, without having ever been introduced to me before or conversing with me, and upon hearing that I was named on my first hash, she pointedly told her virgin right in front of me that "real hashers" get named on their sixth hash. I guess, then, I am not actually a "hasher through and through," regardless of what the song states - a song, incidentally, that we ended up singing 6 or 7 times in the circle since there were kids in the area and we were hard-pressed to think up PG songs to sing! We really need to beef up our song repertoire.
I want to apologize to the hash for not having more water in the bags. I actually added more than is usually in the bags, but apparently not enough to meet the need. As for the rest of the gripes... well, I received feedback that the trail was too long, that the trail could have been tougher (granted that was just a comment from the founders about the length of our trails compared to the trails in other hashes and it was a comment made before the hash began), that the trail was too shiggified, and that the trail was too pavement. I am just going to accept that I can't please all of the people all of the time, and call the experience a relative success. I did manage to stay under budget, and I consider that to be a major win and a testament to my Wonder Jew powers.
However, something that is not a win is the fact that I got pretty badly sunburned. I know that my sunburn is nothing compared to the ones most of the rest of the hashers get regularly, but I have always been really careful about sun exposure due to having had cancer and having gone through chemo. I did not use sunscreen yesterday though I brought it for everyone, and I recognize that I am a dumbass for that. I deserve all the discomfort, and the weird appearance of the tan line that shows with most of the clothing that I wear. Here's hoping that I don't suffer the lesson of melanoma as well.
Anyway, without further ado, I will give you the pics I snapped. Remember also that you can view the ones that Hold the Meat and other hashers have supplied when they are posted to http://members.cox.net/nebraskahash/oh3/oh3hashtrash.html, and you can view pics and videos I have taken from other hashes I've attended at http://www.flickr.com/photos/jessicabragg/collections/72157605756416849/.
__________________________________________
Me and Forrest Gimp and On Her Knees (the co-founders of the Omaha Hash).
__________________________________________
Penguin Pucker (one of my co-hares).
__________________________________________
Deep Frodo (the other co-hare). He had to log in at work because he was on call. I think he decided that if he were going to be busted for technology on trail, he might as well go all out.
__________________________________________
The group is enjoying the A/C on a hot day.
__________________________________________
It wasn't exactly a theme hash, but I appreciate Thanks for the Mammaries' spirit in dressing in a tropical shirt.
__________________________________________
Our Hash Cash also seems to have gotten into the spirit. She done gone went and got lei'd.
__________________________________________
I think I interrupted the reunion between Flambo and Hold the Meat.
__________________________________________
Mammaries seems to have itchy feet and a desire to get moving.
__________________________________________
This was my Virgin Hare. I co-hared with Penguin Pucker and Deep Frodo, and they were really great teammates. They were supportive and cooperative and easygoing and are both altogether awesome people that I am really glad to have as friends.
The co-founders of the Omaha chapter (Forrest Gimp and On Her Knees) showed up after a long hiatus, and without warning. This was extremely intimidating for me because it was my first time haring, but it was also a great honor. It was a good thing they were on hand to run the circle at the end, since almost all of the officers were indisposed for one reason or another by that time.
There was a naming - No Name Amber became Package Checker. She likes her name, even if a little less than half of the voting-eligible attendees hated it. I think it suits her just fine.
There was a named hasher in attendance who was completely true to her name when, without having ever been introduced to me before or conversing with me, and upon hearing that I was named on my first hash, she pointedly told her virgin right in front of me that "real hashers" get named on their sixth hash. I guess, then, I am not actually a "hasher through and through," regardless of what the song states - a song, incidentally, that we ended up singing 6 or 7 times in the circle since there were kids in the area and we were hard-pressed to think up PG songs to sing! We really need to beef up our song repertoire.
I want to apologize to the hash for not having more water in the bags. I actually added more than is usually in the bags, but apparently not enough to meet the need. As for the rest of the gripes... well, I received feedback that the trail was too long, that the trail could have been tougher (granted that was just a comment from the founders about the length of our trails compared to the trails in other hashes and it was a comment made before the hash began), that the trail was too shiggified, and that the trail was too pavement. I am just going to accept that I can't please all of the people all of the time, and call the experience a relative success. I did manage to stay under budget, and I consider that to be a major win and a testament to my Wonder Jew powers.
However, something that is not a win is the fact that I got pretty badly sunburned. I know that my sunburn is nothing compared to the ones most of the rest of the hashers get regularly, but I have always been really careful about sun exposure due to having had cancer and having gone through chemo. I did not use sunscreen yesterday though I brought it for everyone, and I recognize that I am a dumbass for that. I deserve all the discomfort, and the weird appearance of the tan line that shows with most of the clothing that I wear. Here's hoping that I don't suffer the lesson of melanoma as well.
Anyway, without further ado, I will give you the pics I snapped. Remember also that you can view the ones that Hold the Meat and other hashers have supplied when they are posted to http://members.cox.net/nebraskahash/oh3/oh3hashtrash.html, and you can view pics and videos I have taken from other hashes I've attended at http://www.flickr.com/photos/jessicabragg/collections/72157605756416849/.
__________________________________________
Me and Forrest Gimp and On Her Knees (the co-founders of the Omaha Hash).
__________________________________________Penguin Pucker (one of my co-hares).
__________________________________________Deep Frodo (the other co-hare). He had to log in at work because he was on call. I think he decided that if he were going to be busted for technology on trail, he might as well go all out.
__________________________________________The group is enjoying the A/C on a hot day.
__________________________________________It wasn't exactly a theme hash, but I appreciate Thanks for the Mammaries' spirit in dressing in a tropical shirt.
__________________________________________Our Hash Cash also seems to have gotten into the spirit. She done gone went and got lei'd.
__________________________________________I think I interrupted the reunion between Flambo and Hold the Meat.
__________________________________________Mammaries seems to have itchy feet and a desire to get moving.
__________________________________________
Thursday, July 31, 2008
OH3 #327
Again, I am late with my write-up. I suck. I'll do a down-down for it or something.
#327 was Tico's Birthday Hash, and Dental DAMN!!'s naming hash (she was formerly No Name Amy), and I was only there from the circle on. I got some pics and videos, and they are all here. I don't have anything thoroughly brilliant to say (except wearing black jeans and a black linen shirt on a fucking hot day is a dumb idea), so I will just settle for linking you to the pics and videos.
News items:
1. I am haring this Saturday's hash. It will be my first hare. I am very excited. Check the calendar at http://www.nebraskahashing.com for details. I hope to see you there!
2. Flamboyatron is back! I will turn the trash-writing duties back over to him, and only fill in as needed if he is unavailable and asks me to do so. He'll be snarkier and funnier than I am anyway.
I still intend to take some pics and maybe write a few words every now and then, so check back if you're interested!
#327 was Tico's Birthday Hash, and Dental DAMN!!'s naming hash (she was formerly No Name Amy), and I was only there from the circle on. I got some pics and videos, and they are all here. I don't have anything thoroughly brilliant to say (except wearing black jeans and a black linen shirt on a fucking hot day is a dumb idea), so I will just settle for linking you to the pics and videos.
News items:
1. I am haring this Saturday's hash. It will be my first hare. I am very excited. Check the calendar at http://www.nebraskahashing.com for details. I hope to see you there!
2. Flamboyatron is back! I will turn the trash-writing duties back over to him, and only fill in as needed if he is unavailable and asks me to do so. He'll be snarkier and funnier than I am anyway.
I still intend to take some pics and maybe write a few words every now and then, so check back if you're interested!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
OH3 #326 - Red, White, and Blue Hash
Yeah, this is a little overdue. Sorry 'bout that.
We were asked to wear some combination of red, white and blue. Spring-loaded went all out with her outfit on a very hot day.
We chilled in the shade on the patio of the apartment beneath VW's. No name Jeff insisted that the apartment belonged to a close friend of his and that it would be okay. Who were we to argue?
It came time for the hashers to form up for the circle.
The group was composed largely of virgins...
Who were very soon singled out.
VW gave us the Chalk Talk. This would have been especially handy for the virgins if there had actually been a check at the start.
The hares were blessed and sent on their way.
Supergirl has the power of Juggling. Not only of many objects (as pictured below), but also of activities! She had to cut out early to go see her folks.
After the trail, and the circle, and the violations, and the viewing of Beerfest in the Thomasville movie theater, and the crock pot hot dogs, and the popcorn, and the smoking in non-smoking areas, and the spillage of beer, and Amber grabbing everyone's crotch and/or breasts in the swimming pool... those who remained enjoyed some beers and acoustic guitar playing on VW's balcony. It was a lovely night.
Urine Sodomy had a great time, as you can see below.
We were asked to wear some combination of red, white and blue. Spring-loaded went all out with her outfit on a very hot day.
We chilled in the shade on the patio of the apartment beneath VW's. No name Jeff insisted that the apartment belonged to a close friend of his and that it would be okay. Who were we to argue?
It came time for the hashers to form up for the circle.
The group was composed largely of virgins...
Who were very soon singled out.
VW gave us the Chalk Talk. This would have been especially handy for the virgins if there had actually been a check at the start.
The hares were blessed and sent on their way.
Supergirl has the power of Juggling. Not only of many objects (as pictured below), but also of activities! She had to cut out early to go see her folks.
After the trail, and the circle, and the violations, and the viewing of Beerfest in the Thomasville movie theater, and the crock pot hot dogs, and the popcorn, and the smoking in non-smoking areas, and the spillage of beer, and Amber grabbing everyone's crotch and/or breasts in the swimming pool... those who remained enjoyed some beers and acoustic guitar playing on VW's balcony. It was a lovely night.
Urine Sodomy had a great time, as you can see below.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Bloodsucker Hash
I am covered in mosquito bites. I propose a renaming for yesterday's hash. I'm torn between "OH3 #325 Malaria Hash" and "OH3 #325 West Nile Hash". Here's a pic of just one affected area:
Meh, I'll live. I'll be itchy as fuck, but I'll live.
Meh, I'll live. I'll be itchy as fuck, but I'll live.
OH3 #325 Wedding Crash Hash Recap
The attendance was low due to the fact that so many hashers were attending the wedding of Path Defiler and Blowfish. So, of course, we crashed the wedding. Also, because so few of us were actually on trail, we did a "dead hare" and VW and Spring Loaded Pussy actually walked the trail with us.
Since they really "phoned in" their haring duties, I advised that my Hash Trash will be similarly low-effort.
I give you the OH3 #325 Wedding Crash Hash Recap, in haiku form:
Mosquitos bit usI'll be completely honest, though. Despite nearly losing my sneakers to a swamp, getting caught in the rain, being chewed on by mosquitos, and feeling completely out of place at the wedding reception of two people I have only met once before, I had a really great time.
The only thing that bit worse
Was the fucking trail
Anyway, here are a number of pictures I took... and below is a video of Frodo and his daughters singing karaoke.
Attendees:
VW (hare)
Spring Loaded Pussy (hare)
Tico Taz
No Name Amy
Penguin Pucker
Hand Tossed (5 year-lapsed hasher returned from the grave!)
Bush Beer on Tap
Monday, June 16, 2008
LNE H3 #171 Birthday Blast
Somehow, I allowed myself to get roped into writing another Hash Trash. I toyed with the idea of making the story entirely fictional, but my journalistic integrity would not allow me to do so. Therefore, I will give my journalistic integrity a few shots and maybe a roofie, and see if this gets at least a little bit interesting by the end.
It was a gorgeous Saturday afternoon in Lincoln, Nebraska. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and the temperature was warm but not unpleasant. As hashers began arriving, so too was the area graced repeatedly by the presence of an actual rabbit.
This hash was held in honor of a number of birthdays in the same week or so. The hares for this event were two of the birthday honorees, Moutha Stewart and Lost in Pi.
Attendees lined up to pay Weekend Hooker, who used the advanced accounting method of writing their names on a sheet of notebook paper. A couple of people were able to convince the Interim Hash Cash that they were already paid up, and perhaps even were owed money by the books. It is unknown whether this was legitimate paperless accounting, or a really slick maneuver that should be attempted by this reporter on later occasions.
After a bit of meet and greet...
Lost in Pi began the Chalk Talk. Pi's markings ended up being upside-down from the perspective of those standing in the shady area (everyone), which was somehow entirely appropriate since Lost in Pi was indeed the one explaining the marks. The group members adjusted and mentally prepared themselves to follow a trail in search of the last mark, which would be the "NINO."
After Chalk Talk, the hares were blessed and sent on their way.
The hares split in different directions right in front of the group.
After a strange bit of trail with markings that made no sense (a YBF where the true trail could be found several yards beyond?) and a couple of purchases from an ice cream truck by Once Over Easy and Bush Beer on Tap, the pack picked up the scent. Finally, they found the first beer check.
The group traveled on, through some bushes, into a residential area where Pussy Control (formerly known as Cock Controller) shut off someone's hose that had clearly been running for entirely too long, and along some train tracks and down a path that was flooded (on which there was at one time a sign stating that the path was closed - a sign which mysteriously made its way to the On In later that day, in fact). The trail went past a mysterious brick building, the purpose of which was the subject of a great deal of conjecture. There was then a Scenic View, which turned out mainly to be a view of Pussy Control's nipples...
...which were "Special Touched" by a number of female hashers.
The pack continued on, somehow missing an entire beer check somewhere along the way. It wasn't that big a deal, except apparently for Mini Moon Pi, who was dismayed to find that there was no dumping allowed at the third beer check.
The hares were sort-of-snared when they arrived at the third beer check while the pack was still there and everyone touched them. It didn't really much matter however, since they seemed to expect everyone to Zen back to Moutha Stewart's place from that beer check anyway - or at least that was the impression given by the lack of marks between there and the On In. However, on the Zen trip back, territory was re-covered from earlier in the trail, and it was noted by many that marks that hadn't been there previously but would have helped immensely had appeared in the interim.
Once the group returned, the circle was called together and there were violations and announcements. The Dead Bug that Pi and Moutha SHOULD have endured somehow never happened, but that may have been because people were distracted by other events, like birthdays and a renaming.
Once Over Easy led the group in the making of a cake for the birthday celebrants. She liberally sprinkled them with Funfetti cake mix...
...added oil...
...and water...
...and an egg...
...and candles. However, much to the disappointment of some, no one got baked.
Since Mini Moon Pi couldn't take a dump on trail, he decided to pee in the driveway.*
The group collaborated on the choosing of a new name for Cock Controller. After a very long question and answer period, several names were suggested and discarded, and the group nearly unanimously decided that Pussy Control would be the new name. Since PC was being "reborn", Funfetti cake mix was used in place of flour for the renaming ceremony.
After the circle was over, there was a very tasty barbecue meal, a cake with a foot made out of icing on it, and lots of beer and camaraderie. Bronzz Bunzz made some haberdashery sales and Whack-A-Mole (another birthday boy) showed up with some excuse for missing the hash about "delivering a kennel" (euphemism, certainly), and stuck around for the rest of the evening. Folks stayed late into the night chatting about this and that, and Bush Beer on Tap was conned into writing the Hash Trash. Then some folks adjourned to Bronzz Bunzz and Pi's place for some hot tubbin', where Bunzz sold a few more articles of clothing to those wishing to have dry clothes to change back into, which is a very brilliant sales tactic.
In this reporter's opinion, the hash was an incredible success. The only regrettable part was that there were no virgins to experience the awesome vibes and fun times.
Well done, hares! Happy birthday to Moutha Stewart, Lost in Pi, Urine Sodomy, and Whack-A-Mole. Happy renaming to Pussy Control.
* Mini Moon Pi did not actually urinate on the driveway.
It was a gorgeous Saturday afternoon in Lincoln, Nebraska. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and the temperature was warm but not unpleasant. As hashers began arriving, so too was the area graced repeatedly by the presence of an actual rabbit.
This hash was held in honor of a number of birthdays in the same week or so. The hares for this event were two of the birthday honorees, Moutha Stewart and Lost in Pi.
Attendees lined up to pay Weekend Hooker, who used the advanced accounting method of writing their names on a sheet of notebook paper. A couple of people were able to convince the Interim Hash Cash that they were already paid up, and perhaps even were owed money by the books. It is unknown whether this was legitimate paperless accounting, or a really slick maneuver that should be attempted by this reporter on later occasions.
After a bit of meet and greet...
Lost in Pi began the Chalk Talk. Pi's markings ended up being upside-down from the perspective of those standing in the shady area (everyone), which was somehow entirely appropriate since Lost in Pi was indeed the one explaining the marks. The group members adjusted and mentally prepared themselves to follow a trail in search of the last mark, which would be the "NINO."
After Chalk Talk, the hares were blessed and sent on their way.
The hares split in different directions right in front of the group.
After a strange bit of trail with markings that made no sense (a YBF where the true trail could be found several yards beyond?) and a couple of purchases from an ice cream truck by Once Over Easy and Bush Beer on Tap, the pack picked up the scent. Finally, they found the first beer check.
The group traveled on, through some bushes, into a residential area where Pussy Control (formerly known as Cock Controller) shut off someone's hose that had clearly been running for entirely too long, and along some train tracks and down a path that was flooded (on which there was at one time a sign stating that the path was closed - a sign which mysteriously made its way to the On In later that day, in fact). The trail went past a mysterious brick building, the purpose of which was the subject of a great deal of conjecture. There was then a Scenic View, which turned out mainly to be a view of Pussy Control's nipples...
...which were "Special Touched" by a number of female hashers.
The pack continued on, somehow missing an entire beer check somewhere along the way. It wasn't that big a deal, except apparently for Mini Moon Pi, who was dismayed to find that there was no dumping allowed at the third beer check.
The hares were sort-of-snared when they arrived at the third beer check while the pack was still there and everyone touched them. It didn't really much matter however, since they seemed to expect everyone to Zen back to Moutha Stewart's place from that beer check anyway - or at least that was the impression given by the lack of marks between there and the On In. However, on the Zen trip back, territory was re-covered from earlier in the trail, and it was noted by many that marks that hadn't been there previously but would have helped immensely had appeared in the interim.
Once the group returned, the circle was called together and there were violations and announcements. The Dead Bug that Pi and Moutha SHOULD have endured somehow never happened, but that may have been because people were distracted by other events, like birthdays and a renaming.
Once Over Easy led the group in the making of a cake for the birthday celebrants. She liberally sprinkled them with Funfetti cake mix...
...added oil...
...and water...
...and an egg...
...and candles. However, much to the disappointment of some, no one got baked.
Since Mini Moon Pi couldn't take a dump on trail, he decided to pee in the driveway.*
The group collaborated on the choosing of a new name for Cock Controller. After a very long question and answer period, several names were suggested and discarded, and the group nearly unanimously decided that Pussy Control would be the new name. Since PC was being "reborn", Funfetti cake mix was used in place of flour for the renaming ceremony.
After the circle was over, there was a very tasty barbecue meal, a cake with a foot made out of icing on it, and lots of beer and camaraderie. Bronzz Bunzz made some haberdashery sales and Whack-A-Mole (another birthday boy) showed up with some excuse for missing the hash about "delivering a kennel" (euphemism, certainly), and stuck around for the rest of the evening. Folks stayed late into the night chatting about this and that, and Bush Beer on Tap was conned into writing the Hash Trash. Then some folks adjourned to Bronzz Bunzz and Pi's place for some hot tubbin', where Bunzz sold a few more articles of clothing to those wishing to have dry clothes to change back into, which is a very brilliant sales tactic.
In this reporter's opinion, the hash was an incredible success. The only regrettable part was that there were no virgins to experience the awesome vibes and fun times.
Well done, hares! Happy birthday to Moutha Stewart, Lost in Pi, Urine Sodomy, and Whack-A-Mole. Happy renaming to Pussy Control.
* Mini Moon Pi did not actually urinate on the driveway.
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