Sunday, August 1, 2010

Coming soon - OH3 #384 "Magic Hour" Photography Hash

Saturday, August 7, 2010 6:00p-10:30p

OH3 #384 "Magic Hour" Photography Hash
Bush Beer on Tap and No Name Joe (virgin hare!)

Where: Maloney's Irish Pub, 1830 72nd St (just south of Blondo)

When: 6:00 PM (this is an evening hash - bring a flashlight!)

How much: $7, virgins free.

What: This is a photographic scavenger hunt hash. Bring your digital camera and earn points by taking and appearing in photos. Prizes will be awarded!

More information and a list of the ways of earning points can be found at:
(this is an excel file that you will have to open to view. Printed copies will be distributed at the start of the hash.)

There will be an on-after with food and snacks. Please feel free to bring beverages!

Please note: if your digital camera uses something other than SD or MMC cards for storage, make sure you bring some means of moving the images from your camera to my computer for judging.

I hope to see you all there!



P.S. For those who don't know, No Name Joe is Pinche Pinocha's brother. He's got the cojones to co-hare before he's even NAMED. NOW don't you wanna be there?

Saturday, June 19, 2010

OH3 #380 - Louisville

A stone's throw from the Platte River on Hwy 50, lies the bustling metropolis of Louisville, Nebraska. The center of commerce within Louisville is Main street, which features tens of businesses, including a locally owned soft-serve ice cream kiosk called the "Dari Creme". It was to the Good Times Bar that we headed, in order to meet with our fellow hashers, and enjoy some pre-trail beer.

...And beer was enjoyed! Chalk Talk then commenced. Woody Wouldn't Pecker introduced the hare for the day's trail, and .Cum explained the markings that we would be seeing. Most were the typical markings you would expect, but there was the addition of an N inside a circle, which was to represent the "Naughty check." A hasher, upon reaching this check, was to stand there and bend over and wait for another hasher to give her a whack on the backside so she could step off the check. (The final person in line is expected to whack himself off, of course.) .Cum also admitted that he had done no scouting, and would be winging it for this trail.

Woody blessed the hare and sent him on his way, and the pack returned to the beer garden to drink more beer. Mile-High Motherfucker had another Jack&Coke as he is wont to do, but since they don't have a Jack&Coke garden, we shared the beer garden with him.

Once the beverages had been finished and our internal hash clocks told us that it had been more or less 15 minutes, we struck out in search of the first markings. The markings led us to the Naughty check, right in front of the bar, where presumably-tough people had parked their motorcycles.

As the pack got into finding trail, I began chatting with the only virgin in attendance, No Name Megan. Clearly a brave person, she had decided to find us based on a recommendation from a friend in another state who was a hasher. She did some research online and found us, and brought herself out to the middle of nowhere to hang out with a group of strangers, without a sponsor. Since I did the same thing for my first hash, she earned a special place in my heart, so I began briefing her on the hashing traditions so that she could avoid some of the newbie pitfalls.

The trail was almost entirely shiggy-free, and after only a little initial meandering through a residential area and over some train tracks (where a fantastic picture was taken of Marvin GayPal, Mile-High Motherfucker and Woody Wouldn't Pecker getting pelvic with a "No Humping" sign - I want a copy!!) it pretty much went North toward and over the Platte river. We crossed the bridge over the very full river, which churned brownly beneath us. Many dead things lay before us on this road. There were at least two squished snakes, a non-squished but clearly expired goldfinch, an undamaged but supine dragonfly, and both of the feet of what was probably a turkey. Other items found on trail included a condom wrapper, some munched carpet, a bicycle wrench, and many assorted items which were too cumbersome to carry with us for the sake of a joke.

On the North side of the river, we stopped at a bar with a lot of outdoor seating in a prettily shaded riverside area. The owners had a very friendly German shepherd romping around, and many hashers played fetch with him, much to his delight. Marvin GayPal left his prescription sunglasses in the bathroom accidentally, and they were gone a few minutes later when he went back in to find them. (I hope the prescription is only slightly off for the thieving bastard, so he'll get migraines.) After we'd had our fill of beer and fetch, we set back out on a trail which essentially Zen'd back to the Good Times Bar. Marvin GayPal was a few minutes behind us because he did one more sweep to look for his glasses and left his number with the bartender in case they showed up.

Back on Main street, 50 feet from the door of the bar, was another Naughty check. Thinking that MGP wouldn't be that far behind, I waited there. Then I waited, and waited... and waited. Remember that "Dari Creme" I told you about? MGP had decided to saunter over there and get a cone. He eventually showed up with his ice cream cone, smacked my ass and then his own, and we went into the bar. After I had glared at him for a little while, he went back and got me an ice cream cone too.

Once MGP returned, we circled up. We introduced ourselves, gave penalties to backsliders, fully welcomed our virgin, and opened the floor up for violations. People drank copious amounts of beer, Jailbait had to do a dead bug, and announcements were made about the upcoming campout/tubing trip August 27-29th in Ashland.

After circle was closed and we sang a few versions of Swing Low, .Cum led the group in serenading No Name Megan with the hasher version of Alouette. She was absolutely adorable and a great sport, and I look forward to her hashing again and again with us. I am pretty sure she'll come back.

MGP and I left at this point, but most, if not all, of the rest of the hashers were talking about going to hang out at Woody and Jailbait's campsite at Louisville State Recreation Area, so any further hi-jinks will have to be reported by one of them.

In attendance were:

Spawn of Satan
Woody Wouldn't Pecker
Sex Toy Story
Mile-High Motherfucker
Marvin GayPal
Bush Beer on Tap
Hand Solo
No Name Megan

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

June 5 Trail recap from BBOT's perspective

OH3 #379

The trail from my perspective was essentially:

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck, hey, a Brewsky's."

Hand Solo always lays brutal trails. I know this. I have been under the weather for the past couple of weeks, and was therefore starting out in much-less-than-top-form. I know this, too. So why did I elect to participate in the June 5 hash? Because I am a hasher, goddamnit.

Also, because I was just elected RA, and I wanted to get that particular cherry-popping over with.

So I went, and I suffered.

The long and the short of it is that I finally crested a really, really steep hill which kicked my ass (and the asses of everyone else in the pack, but they recovered much more quickly). At several points on the hill, wheezing and whining and cursing silently because I didn't have the breath to do it audibly, I got light-headed and almost tipped backwards, which would have resulted in a long fall and possible impalement on deadfall sticking out at sharp angles. Upon reaching the top and collapsing on the pavement at the side of a major street, I contemplated the choices in my life that led me there, and began doubting my decision-making skills.

Once I had enough breath back to resume movement, I crossed the street and followed the pack through a parking lot. Off in the distance, I saw some packmembers climbing another steep hill. "Awww, hell no," I said. I looked to my left, and 20 yards away was a Brewsky's, glinting in the sun. A choir of angels was singing and blowing trumpets. Out of the side of my mouth I requested of one of my packmates that they send someone back for me once they reached the end of the trail. I didn't wait to find out if I was heard, but I assume so, because they did send someone back for me.

Later I found out that the hill I'd seen was actually a false trail, and had I continued on, I would not have had to climb it because they would have determined its falseness by the time I caught up. I did, however, miss the necessity of wading waist-deep through a creek some distance past it. Of course, I drank for my short-cutting infraction later, but the ability to forgo potential parasite infestation more than makes up for that.

Upon my arrival at the on-in, I officiated at my first official circle, and from all accounts I did a passable job. Then we adjourned to join up again later at the Jolleys', and there was hot-tubbing and pizza and camaraderie.

In the final analysis, I'm glad I went to the hash. However, I am also very glad I decided to recognize my limitations and have a refreshing iced tea instead of a disgusting trip through a creek. My faith in my decision-making skills is now restored.


Bush Beer on Tap

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Omaha H3 Mismanagement

The new Mismanagement team for the Omaha Hash House Harriers has been elected!

GM: Whack A Mole

Co-RA’s: Woody Wouldn’t Pecker and Bush Beer On Tap

Hash Cash: Jailbait

Hare Raiser: Finger Wave

Saturday, April 3, 2010

OH3 #374 - Marvin GayPal's Solo Debut!

Today was Mini Moon Pi and Big Trouble in Little Vagina's wedding in Lincoln, which was to be attended by a number of Omaha hashers. As a result, Marvin GayPal thought that only a few people might show up for his Solo Haring Debut...

...But boy, was he wrong!

The day was clear and windy, and the temperature was perfect. Chalco Hills Recreation Area is a pleasant park where lots of people jog and fish. Today there were also quite a few people drinking and singing.

The hash began when Bush Beer on Tap welcomed everyone to Omaha Hash House Harriers Hash #374. The group cheered, "On on!"

Marvin GayPal introduced himself and then acquainted everyone with his marks. He advised that, because the trail was so shiggiful, there would be no flour used. He also explained that he would be marking all the beer checks with red fabric. He reintroduced the Pi Check and the Riddle Check, as well.

Visiting Religious Advisor, Lost in Pi blessed the hare, and MGP was off, shouting "15 and 3!" over his shoulder.

Fifteen minutes to kill, and no beer? (The hashers knew better than to flout the no-alcohol policy of the park, at least so close to the main building.) Introductions were made, and time was killed with several verses of "I used to work in Chicago" and "The days of the week." During this spectacle, the virgins stood uncomfortably and considered getting back in their cars.

Soon enough, however, the group ranged out to try to find the first piece of shiggy. No Name Merinda spied a far away piece, and for the very most brief of moments, Bush Beer on Tap was an FRB while she went to check it out. Then everyone regrouped and began the trek!

The pack very quickly spread out, with Hand Solo and No Name Bil strongly in the lead. It ranged up a hill and along a ridgeline for some, and directly across a soccer field to a convergence point for others. The important thing is that the pack was reunited at the first beer check, and refreshment was had by all. There was one teetotalling virgin, and another virgin with a wheat allergy who couldn't drink regular beer, but advance-planning allowed for everyone to enjoy a beverage!

The FRBs were champing at the bit before long, so the hashers went back out on trail. It was quite a trail. There were hills. There was shiggy. Then, thankfully, there was more beer.

After that beer was dutifully consumed, the hashers ranged out again. They were all over the place. They separated out into small groups and went every which way. They coalesced once again for the first riddle check (or possibly the second. It is unknown, because the pack missed the other riddle check at some point). The riddle actually turned out to be a Nebraska trivia question, and it was answered correctly by No Name Merinda. The question was:

What beverage was invented in Hastings, Nebraska?

The answer is, of course, Kool-aid. The prize for the correct answer was that the pack got to enjoy some refreshing Kool-aid which was hidden nearby. There was initially some grumbling because the Kool-aid was not spiked with something stronger, but eventually all agreed that it was nice to have an additional refreshing drink stop, after all.

The group struck back out and again separated into clusters along a great deal of terrain. No Name Ashton and Lost in Pi disappeared, much to the chagrin of the rest of the pack when they reached the Pi Check and there was no Pi! As it turns out, Pi and No Name Ashton decided to auto-wank the rest of the trail, and therefore Pi was able to surprise the group by arriving from an entirely different direction than the one being anxiously watched. Once the group was back together (minus No Name Ashton) they progressed onward until they reached the third and final beer check. No Name Merinda was left behind at some point before that. Bush Beer on Tap was mortified that she had left her virgin unaccounted for, but was gratified when NNMerinda showed up a moment later, in true hasher style, carrying baseballs she had stopped to collect along the way. Not only that, but as NNMerinda came up the hill toward the group, she also breathlessly called BBOT out for saying "head."

Meanwhile, apart from the group, while retrieving the car with the rest of the beer in it, Marvin GayPal ran into No Name Ashton and they each drove their cars to the parking lot which was closer to the point B where the circle would be. MGP instructed Ashton as to where he could meet the rest of the pack. MGP got back to the area he had designated for the circle with the heavy cooler just in time to see the FRBs cresting the hill. The timing was ideal. Shortly after BBOT finally hauled her sorry ass into circle, No Name Ashton reappeared and chastised MGP for neglecting to tell him that he would have to cross a creek to get there from the lot, especially since his prosthetic foot had gotten stuck in the mud and he'd had to take it off to get out!

Bush Beer on Tap called the circle to order. There were violations, there were songs, and there was a spontaneous naming! On his third hash, No Name Josh earned his hash name. From this day forward, in hashes around the world, No Name Josh will henceforth be known as "Stuck Hard"!

After circle was closed and people meandered back to their vehicles, most of the participants met back up at Buffalo Wild Wings, where food was enjoyed.

In attendance were:
Marvin GayPal - hare, Omaha
Bush Beer on Tap - ersatz officiate, Omaha
Lager Head - visitor, Lincoln
Lost in Pi - visiting RA, Lincoln
Bronzz Bunzz - visitor, Lincoln
Hand Solo - Omaha
Dot Cum - Omaha
Spawn of Satan - Omaha
No name Ashton - Omaha
No Name EJ - virgin, Omaha
No Name Laura - virgin, Omaha
No Name CJ - virgin, Omaha
No Name Merinda - virgin, Omaha
No Name Bil - virgin, Omaha
Stuck Hard - formerly No Name Josh, Omaha

Photos are available in BBOTs hashing flickr collection.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

OH3 #364 Details

Saturday, November 21, 2009
OH3 #364
Hare: Bush Beer on Tap

Time: 2:00 PM SHT (1400)

Location: Northwest corner of the parking lot of the Wal-Mart on 72nd street and Pine

1606 S 72ND St
Omaha, NE 68124-1600

Cost: $7.00 virgins free

Trail: Outdoors. Dress for a cool day. High of 55 low of 45, partly cloudy. The on-in will be warm.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Suspicious White Powder

There was a scare in West Palm Beach, Florida involving "suspicious white powder". HazMat teams were called to test 20-someodd piles of what turned out to be, of course, wheat flour. This is the story:

It occurred to me that it was important to open up lines of communication with local authorities to prevent a similar event here in Omaha.

After much redirection and misdirection, I finally tracked down the public affairs officer for the Omaha Police Department. I spoke with her about who we are, what we do, and about how I'd like to establish a procedure for communication with the police department for all future Omaha trails. The officer was very receptive and understanding, and gave me her email address. For the time being, until I get permission to post it on the site, we will just make sure each hare has the address prior to their trail. If we get the go-ahead, we'll publish it to the Yahoo group or on the Nebraska Hashing site in the hare instructions, or both.

So basically, I just emailed her the time and location of the trail, giving the streets that are boundaries of the area encompassing the trail. I gave her my cell number and my full name. She will make sure that the precinct(s) involved have the information available in case there are any calls reporting suspicious activities.

In addition, I took a precaution suggested by Pondscum that really makes sense. For $1.99 I bought a squeeze bottle of powdered blue stuff called Carpenters Chalk. I got it at a hardware store. I mixed it into my bags of flour and made a pretty light blue colored marking powder mixture. The color will make people a little less likely to get freaked out about "suspicious white powder". In addition, the squeeze bottle can be filled back up with the light blue flour/chalk mixture and used to dispense a controlled amount of flour on trail. A note for nighttime trails - Once Over Easy mixes a little glitter into her powder, and it reflects flashlight beams nicely.