A stone's throw from the Platte River on Hwy 50, lies the bustling metropolis of Louisville, Nebraska. The center of commerce within Louisville is Main street, which features tens of businesses, including a locally owned soft-serve ice cream kiosk called the "Dari Creme". It was to the Good Times Bar that we headed, in order to meet with our fellow hashers, and enjoy some pre-trail beer.
...And beer was enjoyed! Chalk Talk then commenced. Woody Wouldn't Pecker introduced the hare for the day's trail, and .Cum explained the markings that we would be seeing. Most were the typical markings you would expect, but there was the addition of an N inside a circle, which was to represent the "Naughty check." A hasher, upon reaching this check, was to stand there and bend over and wait for another hasher to give her a whack on the backside so she could step off the check. (The final person in line is expected to whack himself off, of course.) .Cum also admitted that he had done no scouting, and would be winging it for this trail.
Woody blessed the hare and sent him on his way, and the pack returned to the beer garden to drink more beer. Mile-High Motherfucker had another Jack&Coke as he is wont to do, but since they don't have a Jack&Coke garden, we shared the beer garden with him.
Once the beverages had been finished and our internal hash clocks told us that it had been more or less 15 minutes, we struck out in search of the first markings. The markings led us to the Naughty check, right in front of the bar, where presumably-tough people had parked their motorcycles.
As the pack got into finding trail, I began chatting with the only virgin in attendance, No Name Megan. Clearly a brave person, she had decided to find us based on a recommendation from a friend in another state who was a hasher. She did some research online and found us, and brought herself out to the middle of nowhere to hang out with a group of strangers, without a sponsor. Since I did the same thing for my first hash, she earned a special place in my heart, so I began briefing her on the hashing traditions so that she could avoid some of the newbie pitfalls.
The trail was almost entirely shiggy-free, and after only a little initial meandering through a residential area and over some train tracks (where a fantastic picture was taken of Marvin GayPal, Mile-High Motherfucker and Woody Wouldn't Pecker getting pelvic with a "No Humping" sign - I want a copy!!) it pretty much went North toward and over the Platte river. We crossed the bridge over the very full river, which churned brownly beneath us. Many dead things lay before us on this road. There were at least two squished snakes, a non-squished but clearly expired goldfinch, an undamaged but supine dragonfly, and both of the feet of what was probably a turkey. Other items found on trail included a condom wrapper, some munched carpet, a bicycle wrench, and many assorted items which were too cumbersome to carry with us for the sake of a joke.
On the North side of the river, we stopped at a bar with a lot of outdoor seating in a prettily shaded riverside area. The owners had a very friendly German shepherd romping around, and many hashers played fetch with him, much to his delight. Marvin GayPal left his prescription sunglasses in the bathroom accidentally, and they were gone a few minutes later when he went back in to find them. (I hope the prescription is only slightly off for the thieving bastard, so he'll get migraines.) After we'd had our fill of beer and fetch, we set back out on a trail which essentially Zen'd back to the Good Times Bar. Marvin GayPal was a few minutes behind us because he did one more sweep to look for his glasses and left his number with the bartender in case they showed up.
Back on Main street, 50 feet from the door of the bar, was another Naughty check. Thinking that MGP wouldn't be that far behind, I waited there. Then I waited, and waited... and waited. Remember that "Dari Creme" I told you about? MGP had decided to saunter over there and get a cone. He eventually showed up with his ice cream cone, smacked my ass and then his own, and we went into the bar. After I had glared at him for a little while, he went back and got me an ice cream cone too.
Once MGP returned, we circled up. We introduced ourselves, gave penalties to backsliders, fully welcomed our virgin, and opened the floor up for violations. People drank copious amounts of beer, Jailbait had to do a dead bug, and announcements were made about the upcoming campout/tubing trip August 27-29th in Ashland.
After circle was closed and we sang a few versions of Swing Low, .Cum led the group in serenading No Name Megan with the hasher version of Alouette. She was absolutely adorable and a great sport, and I look forward to her hashing again and again with us. I am pretty sure she'll come back.
MGP and I left at this point, but most, if not all, of the rest of the hashers were talking about going to hang out at Woody and Jailbait's campsite at Louisville State Recreation Area, so any further hi-jinks will have to be reported by one of them.
In attendance were:
.Cum
Spawn of Satan
Jailbait
Woody Wouldn't Pecker
Sex Toy Story
Mile-High Motherfucker
Marvin GayPal
Bush Beer on Tap
Hand Solo
No Name Megan
Showing posts with label omaha. Show all posts
Showing posts with label omaha. Show all posts
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
June 5 Trail recap from BBOT's perspective
OH3 #379
The trail from my perspective was essentially:
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck, hey, a Brewsky's."
Hand Solo always lays brutal trails. I know this. I have been under the weather for the past couple of weeks, and was therefore starting out in much-less-than-top-form. I know this, too. So why did I elect to participate in the June 5 hash? Because I am a hasher, goddamnit.
Also, because I was just elected RA, and I wanted to get that particular cherry-popping over with.
So I went, and I suffered.
The long and the short of it is that I finally crested a really, really steep hill which kicked my ass (and the asses of everyone else in the pack, but they recovered much more quickly). At several points on the hill, wheezing and whining and cursing silently because I didn't have the breath to do it audibly, I got light-headed and almost tipped backwards, which would have resulted in a long fall and possible impalement on deadfall sticking out at sharp angles. Upon reaching the top and collapsing on the pavement at the side of a major street, I contemplated the choices in my life that led me there, and began doubting my decision-making skills.
Once I had enough breath back to resume movement, I crossed the street and followed the pack through a parking lot. Off in the distance, I saw some packmembers climbing another steep hill. "Awww, hell no," I said. I looked to my left, and 20 yards away was a Brewsky's, glinting in the sun. A choir of angels was singing and blowing trumpets. Out of the side of my mouth I requested of one of my packmates that they send someone back for me once they reached the end of the trail. I didn't wait to find out if I was heard, but I assume so, because they did send someone back for me.
Later I found out that the hill I'd seen was actually a false trail, and had I continued on, I would not have had to climb it because they would have determined its falseness by the time I caught up. I did, however, miss the necessity of wading waist-deep through a creek some distance past it. Of course, I drank for my short-cutting infraction later, but the ability to forgo potential parasite infestation more than makes up for that.
Upon my arrival at the on-in, I officiated at my first official circle, and from all accounts I did a passable job. Then we adjourned to join up again later at the Jolleys', and there was hot-tubbing and pizza and camaraderie.
In the final analysis, I'm glad I went to the hash. However, I am also very glad I decided to recognize my limitations and have a refreshing iced tea instead of a disgusting trip through a creek. My faith in my decision-making skills is now restored.
On-on!
Bush Beer on Tap
The trail from my perspective was essentially:
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck, hey, a Brewsky's."
Hand Solo always lays brutal trails. I know this. I have been under the weather for the past couple of weeks, and was therefore starting out in much-less-than-top-form. I know this, too. So why did I elect to participate in the June 5 hash? Because I am a hasher, goddamnit.
Also, because I was just elected RA, and I wanted to get that particular cherry-popping over with.
So I went, and I suffered.
The long and the short of it is that I finally crested a really, really steep hill which kicked my ass (and the asses of everyone else in the pack, but they recovered much more quickly). At several points on the hill, wheezing and whining and cursing silently because I didn't have the breath to do it audibly, I got light-headed and almost tipped backwards, which would have resulted in a long fall and possible impalement on deadfall sticking out at sharp angles. Upon reaching the top and collapsing on the pavement at the side of a major street, I contemplated the choices in my life that led me there, and began doubting my decision-making skills.
Once I had enough breath back to resume movement, I crossed the street and followed the pack through a parking lot. Off in the distance, I saw some packmembers climbing another steep hill. "Awww, hell no," I said. I looked to my left, and 20 yards away was a Brewsky's, glinting in the sun. A choir of angels was singing and blowing trumpets. Out of the side of my mouth I requested of one of my packmates that they send someone back for me once they reached the end of the trail. I didn't wait to find out if I was heard, but I assume so, because they did send someone back for me.
Later I found out that the hill I'd seen was actually a false trail, and had I continued on, I would not have had to climb it because they would have determined its falseness by the time I caught up. I did, however, miss the necessity of wading waist-deep through a creek some distance past it. Of course, I drank for my short-cutting infraction later, but the ability to forgo potential parasite infestation more than makes up for that.
Upon my arrival at the on-in, I officiated at my first official circle, and from all accounts I did a passable job. Then we adjourned to join up again later at the Jolleys', and there was hot-tubbing and pizza and camaraderie.
In the final analysis, I'm glad I went to the hash. However, I am also very glad I decided to recognize my limitations and have a refreshing iced tea instead of a disgusting trip through a creek. My faith in my decision-making skills is now restored.
On-on!
Bush Beer on Tap
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Omaha H3 Mismanagement
The new Mismanagement team for the Omaha Hash House Harriers has been elected!
GM: Whack A Mole
Co-RA’s: Woody Wouldn’t Pecker and Bush Beer On Tap
Hash Cash: Jailbait
Hare Raiser: Finger Wave
Saturday, April 3, 2010
OH3 #374 - Marvin GayPal's Solo Debut!
Today was Mini Moon Pi and Big Trouble in Little Vagina's wedding in Lincoln, which was to be attended by a number of Omaha hashers. As a result, Marvin GayPal thought that only a few people might show up for his Solo Haring Debut...
...But boy, was he wrong!
The day was clear and windy, and the temperature was perfect. Chalco Hills Recreation Area is a pleasant park where lots of people jog and fish. Today there were also quite a few people drinking and singing.
The hash began when Bush Beer on Tap welcomed everyone to Omaha Hash House Harriers Hash #374. The group cheered, "On on!"
Marvin GayPal introduced himself and then acquainted everyone with his marks. He advised that, because the trail was so shiggiful, there would be no flour used. He also explained that he would be marking all the beer checks with red fabric. He reintroduced the Pi Check and the Riddle Check, as well.
Visiting Religious Advisor, Lost in Pi blessed the hare, and MGP was off, shouting "15 and 3!" over his shoulder.
Fifteen minutes to kill, and no beer? (The hashers knew better than to flout the no-alcohol policy of the park, at least so close to the main building.) Introductions were made, and time was killed with several verses of "I used to work in Chicago" and "The days of the week." During this spectacle, the virgins stood uncomfortably and considered getting back in their cars.
Soon enough, however, the group ranged out to try to find the first piece of shiggy. No Name Merinda spied a far away piece, and for the very most brief of moments, Bush Beer on Tap was an FRB while she went to check it out. Then everyone regrouped and began the trek!
The pack very quickly spread out, with Hand Solo and No Name Bil strongly in the lead. It ranged up a hill and along a ridgeline for some, and directly across a soccer field to a convergence point for others. The important thing is that the pack was reunited at the first beer check, and refreshment was had by all. There was one teetotalling virgin, and another virgin with a wheat allergy who couldn't drink regular beer, but advance-planning allowed for everyone to enjoy a beverage!
The FRBs were champing at the bit before long, so the hashers went back out on trail. It was quite a trail. There were hills. There was shiggy. Then, thankfully, there was more beer.
After that beer was dutifully consumed, the hashers ranged out again. They were all over the place. They separated out into small groups and went every which way. They coalesced once again for the first riddle check (or possibly the second. It is unknown, because the pack missed the other riddle check at some point). The riddle actually turned out to be a Nebraska trivia question, and it was answered correctly by No Name Merinda. The question was:
What beverage was invented in Hastings, Nebraska?
The answer is, of course, Kool-aid. The prize for the correct answer was that the pack got to enjoy some refreshing Kool-aid which was hidden nearby. There was initially some grumbling because the Kool-aid was not spiked with something stronger, but eventually all agreed that it was nice to have an additional refreshing drink stop, after all.
The group struck back out and again separated into clusters along a great deal of terrain. No Name Ashton and Lost in Pi disappeared, much to the chagrin of the rest of the pack when they reached the Pi Check and there was no Pi! As it turns out, Pi and No Name Ashton decided to auto-wank the rest of the trail, and therefore Pi was able to surprise the group by arriving from an entirely different direction than the one being anxiously watched. Once the group was back together (minus No Name Ashton) they progressed onward until they reached the third and final beer check. No Name Merinda was left behind at some point before that. Bush Beer on Tap was mortified that she had left her virgin unaccounted for, but was gratified when NNMerinda showed up a moment later, in true hasher style, carrying baseballs she had stopped to collect along the way. Not only that, but as NNMerinda came up the hill toward the group, she also breathlessly called BBOT out for saying "head."
Meanwhile, apart from the group, while retrieving the car with the rest of the beer in it, Marvin GayPal ran into No Name Ashton and they each drove their cars to the parking lot which was closer to the point B where the circle would be. MGP instructed Ashton as to where he could meet the rest of the pack. MGP got back to the area he had designated for the circle with the heavy cooler just in time to see the FRBs cresting the hill. The timing was ideal. Shortly after BBOT finally hauled her sorry ass into circle, No Name Ashton reappeared and chastised MGP for neglecting to tell him that he would have to cross a creek to get there from the lot, especially since his prosthetic foot had gotten stuck in the mud and he'd had to take it off to get out!
Bush Beer on Tap called the circle to order. There were violations, there were songs, and there was a spontaneous naming! On his third hash, No Name Josh earned his hash name. From this day forward, in hashes around the world, No Name Josh will henceforth be known as "Stuck Hard"!
After circle was closed and people meandered back to their vehicles, most of the participants met back up at Buffalo Wild Wings, where food was enjoyed.
In attendance were:
Marvin GayPal - hare, Omaha
Bush Beer on Tap - ersatz officiate, Omaha
Lager Head - visitor, Lincoln
Lost in Pi - visiting RA, Lincoln
Bronzz Bunzz - visitor, Lincoln
Hand Solo - Omaha
Dot Cum - Omaha
Spawn of Satan - Omaha
No name Ashton - Omaha
No Name EJ - virgin, Omaha
No Name Laura - virgin, Omaha
No Name CJ - virgin, Omaha
No Name Merinda - virgin, Omaha
No Name Bil - virgin, Omaha
Stuck Hard - formerly No Name Josh, Omaha
Photos are available in BBOTs hashing flickr collection.
...But boy, was he wrong!
The day was clear and windy, and the temperature was perfect. Chalco Hills Recreation Area is a pleasant park where lots of people jog and fish. Today there were also quite a few people drinking and singing.
The hash began when Bush Beer on Tap welcomed everyone to Omaha Hash House Harriers Hash #374. The group cheered, "On on!"
Marvin GayPal introduced himself and then acquainted everyone with his marks. He advised that, because the trail was so shiggiful, there would be no flour used. He also explained that he would be marking all the beer checks with red fabric. He reintroduced the Pi Check and the Riddle Check, as well.
Visiting Religious Advisor, Lost in Pi blessed the hare, and MGP was off, shouting "15 and 3!" over his shoulder.
Fifteen minutes to kill, and no beer? (The hashers knew better than to flout the no-alcohol policy of the park, at least so close to the main building.) Introductions were made, and time was killed with several verses of "I used to work in Chicago" and "The days of the week." During this spectacle, the virgins stood uncomfortably and considered getting back in their cars.
Soon enough, however, the group ranged out to try to find the first piece of shiggy. No Name Merinda spied a far away piece, and for the very most brief of moments, Bush Beer on Tap was an FRB while she went to check it out. Then everyone regrouped and began the trek!
The pack very quickly spread out, with Hand Solo and No Name Bil strongly in the lead. It ranged up a hill and along a ridgeline for some, and directly across a soccer field to a convergence point for others. The important thing is that the pack was reunited at the first beer check, and refreshment was had by all. There was one teetotalling virgin, and another virgin with a wheat allergy who couldn't drink regular beer, but advance-planning allowed for everyone to enjoy a beverage!
The FRBs were champing at the bit before long, so the hashers went back out on trail. It was quite a trail. There were hills. There was shiggy. Then, thankfully, there was more beer.
After that beer was dutifully consumed, the hashers ranged out again. They were all over the place. They separated out into small groups and went every which way. They coalesced once again for the first riddle check (or possibly the second. It is unknown, because the pack missed the other riddle check at some point). The riddle actually turned out to be a Nebraska trivia question, and it was answered correctly by No Name Merinda. The question was:
What beverage was invented in Hastings, Nebraska?
The answer is, of course, Kool-aid. The prize for the correct answer was that the pack got to enjoy some refreshing Kool-aid which was hidden nearby. There was initially some grumbling because the Kool-aid was not spiked with something stronger, but eventually all agreed that it was nice to have an additional refreshing drink stop, after all.
The group struck back out and again separated into clusters along a great deal of terrain. No Name Ashton and Lost in Pi disappeared, much to the chagrin of the rest of the pack when they reached the Pi Check and there was no Pi! As it turns out, Pi and No Name Ashton decided to auto-wank the rest of the trail, and therefore Pi was able to surprise the group by arriving from an entirely different direction than the one being anxiously watched. Once the group was back together (minus No Name Ashton) they progressed onward until they reached the third and final beer check. No Name Merinda was left behind at some point before that. Bush Beer on Tap was mortified that she had left her virgin unaccounted for, but was gratified when NNMerinda showed up a moment later, in true hasher style, carrying baseballs she had stopped to collect along the way. Not only that, but as NNMerinda came up the hill toward the group, she also breathlessly called BBOT out for saying "head."
Meanwhile, apart from the group, while retrieving the car with the rest of the beer in it, Marvin GayPal ran into No Name Ashton and they each drove their cars to the parking lot which was closer to the point B where the circle would be. MGP instructed Ashton as to where he could meet the rest of the pack. MGP got back to the area he had designated for the circle with the heavy cooler just in time to see the FRBs cresting the hill. The timing was ideal. Shortly after BBOT finally hauled her sorry ass into circle, No Name Ashton reappeared and chastised MGP for neglecting to tell him that he would have to cross a creek to get there from the lot, especially since his prosthetic foot had gotten stuck in the mud and he'd had to take it off to get out!
Bush Beer on Tap called the circle to order. There were violations, there were songs, and there was a spontaneous naming! On his third hash, No Name Josh earned his hash name. From this day forward, in hashes around the world, No Name Josh will henceforth be known as "Stuck Hard"!
After circle was closed and people meandered back to their vehicles, most of the participants met back up at Buffalo Wild Wings, where food was enjoyed.
In attendance were:
Marvin GayPal - hare, Omaha
Bush Beer on Tap - ersatz officiate, Omaha
Lager Head - visitor, Lincoln
Lost in Pi - visiting RA, Lincoln
Bronzz Bunzz - visitor, Lincoln
Hand Solo - Omaha
Dot Cum - Omaha
Spawn of Satan - Omaha
No name Ashton - Omaha
No Name EJ - virgin, Omaha
No Name Laura - virgin, Omaha
No Name CJ - virgin, Omaha
No Name Merinda - virgin, Omaha
No Name Bil - virgin, Omaha
Stuck Hard - formerly No Name Josh, Omaha
Photos are available in BBOTs hashing flickr collection.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
OH3 #364 Details
Saturday, November 21, 2009
2:00p
OH3 #364
Hare: Bush Beer on Tap
Time: 2:00 PM SHT (1400)
Location: Northwest corner of the parking lot of the Wal-Mart on 72nd street and Pine
1606 S 72ND St
Omaha, NE 68124-1600
Cost: $7.00 virgins free
Trail: Outdoors. Dress for a cool day. High of 55 low of 45, partly cloudy. The on-in will be warm.
2:00p
OH3 #364
Hare: Bush Beer on Tap
Time: 2:00 PM SHT (1400)
Location: Northwest corner of the parking lot of the Wal-Mart on 72nd street and Pine
1606 S 72ND St
Omaha, NE 68124-1600
Cost: $7.00 virgins free
Trail: Outdoors. Dress for a cool day. High of 55 low of 45, partly cloudy. The on-in will be warm.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Suspicious White Powder
There was a scare in West Palm Beach, Florida involving "suspicious white powder". HazMat teams were called to test 20-someodd piles of what turned out to be, of course, wheat flour. This is the story:
http://www.cbs12.com/news/suspicious-4722134-west-block.html
It occurred to me that it was important to open up lines of communication with local authorities to prevent a similar event here in Omaha.
After much redirection and misdirection, I finally tracked down the public affairs officer for the Omaha Police Department. I spoke with her about who we are, what we do, and about how I'd like to establish a procedure for communication with the police department for all future Omaha trails. The officer was very receptive and understanding, and gave me her email address. For the time being, until I get permission to post it on the site, we will just make sure each hare has the address prior to their trail. If we get the go-ahead, we'll publish it to the Yahoo group or on the Nebraska Hashing site in the hare instructions, or both.
So basically, I just emailed her the time and location of the trail, giving the streets that are boundaries of the area encompassing the trail. I gave her my cell number and my full name. She will make sure that the precinct(s) involved have the information available in case there are any calls reporting suspicious activities.
In addition, I took a precaution suggested by Pondscum that really makes sense. For $1.99 I bought a squeeze bottle of powdered blue stuff called Carpenters Chalk. I got it at a hardware store. I mixed it into my bags of flour and made a pretty light blue colored marking powder mixture. The color will make people a little less likely to get freaked out about "suspicious white powder". In addition, the squeeze bottle can be filled back up with the light blue flour/chalk mixture and used to dispense a controlled amount of flour on trail. A note for nighttime trails - Once Over Easy mixes a little glitter into her powder, and it reflects flashlight beams nicely.
BBOT
http://www.cbs12.com/news/suspicious-4722134-west-block.html
It occurred to me that it was important to open up lines of communication with local authorities to prevent a similar event here in Omaha.
After much redirection and misdirection, I finally tracked down the public affairs officer for the Omaha Police Department. I spoke with her about who we are, what we do, and about how I'd like to establish a procedure for communication with the police department for all future Omaha trails. The officer was very receptive and understanding, and gave me her email address. For the time being, until I get permission to post it on the site, we will just make sure each hare has the address prior to their trail. If we get the go-ahead, we'll publish it to the Yahoo group or on the Nebraska Hashing site in the hare instructions, or both.
So basically, I just emailed her the time and location of the trail, giving the streets that are boundaries of the area encompassing the trail. I gave her my cell number and my full name. She will make sure that the precinct(s) involved have the information available in case there are any calls reporting suspicious activities.
In addition, I took a precaution suggested by Pondscum that really makes sense. For $1.99 I bought a squeeze bottle of powdered blue stuff called Carpenters Chalk. I got it at a hardware store. I mixed it into my bags of flour and made a pretty light blue colored marking powder mixture. The color will make people a little less likely to get freaked out about "suspicious white powder". In addition, the squeeze bottle can be filled back up with the light blue flour/chalk mixture and used to dispense a controlled amount of flour on trail. A note for nighttime trails - Once Over Easy mixes a little glitter into her powder, and it reflects flashlight beams nicely.
BBOT
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Much Ado About Shiggy - post-trail thoughts
The hash went really well and there were a handful of regulars, a visitor, and a virgin in attendance. I am actually pretty damned disappointed at the lack of attendance from work friends who seemed originally to be all gung-ho to show up in our support, but the loss was really theirs. The trail rocked!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Invitation to MGPs virgin hare
You are invited to join
Bush Beer on Tap (Jess Bragg)
and
Marvin GayPal (Thomas Burbach)
for
"Mush Ado About Shiggy"
(MGP's haring debut)
Come hashing with BBOT and MGP! This is MGP's first time laying trail, and we want to have a record turnout. We promise that you'll have a blast!
There will indeed be shiggy on this trail, as well as a few other fun surprises! Bring insect repellent and sunscreen, and a dry change of clothes if you're a klutz.
When: Saturday, June 20, 2009 4:00 PM
Where: Elmwood Park - Parking lot by the ball fields at the Pacific and 67th street entrance
Cost: Free for virgins, $7 for repeat offenders
Sunday, June 14, 2009
BBOT's Hash FAQ
What is hashing?
Hashing is like a cross between a beer-drinking game, a treasure hunt, and a nature walk. The participants break down into the following roles: the Hares (the person or people laying the trail), and the Harriers (the rest of the group). The Harriers will chase and attempt to catch the Hares, following marks the Hares leave on their trail. Hidden on the trail are also caches of beer and other beverages, both to refresh and delay the pursuers. It's a mixture of athleticism and sociability, hedonism and hard work; and an amusing break from the daily routine.
Do I have to run?
Heck no! Run is a four-letter word! The Omaha and Lincoln chapters have very few runners. We tend more toward the sociability and hedonism than the athleticism and hard work, here in Nebraska.
So you guys smoke hash, then?
Nope. We're about beer. The term "hashing" is derived from the name of the club - The Hash House Harriers. The H3 was founded in 1938 when a group of British chartered accountants in Kuala Lumpur started this game of Hares and Hounds. They named their club after the place they were staying, which was known for its monotonous food. If they'd known how often this name would be questioned in the decades to come, maybe they'd have chosen a name with a simpler explanation.
What do I need in order to participate?
A valid ID proving that you are over 21, a little energy, and a willingness to abandon yourself to the ridiculous for a few hours. You'll also probably want to be wearing comfortable sneakers, maybe some sunscreen and insect repellent (seasonal), long socks or pants that cover your legs to protect you from the foliage that you might be tromping through, clothing you wouldn't mind getting dirty or wet, and you might possibly want to bring a change of clothing in case you want something fresh to wear when we hang out afterwards. You want to avoid wearing jeans or brand new shoes, as they are violations of the Hashing Traditions.
Waitasec. Hashing Traditions? Violations? What's that all about?
Well, I told you that it's like a drinking game. Games have rules, right? Well, we don't have rules, but we do have Traditions. They are, by and large, ridiculously silly. We do not point with our fingers. We call each other only by our hash names. We do not wear denim. We do not wear new shoes. Stuff like that.
So what are the penalties for these violations?
We taunt you and then we make you drink beer. We are heartless and cruel.
Does this cost any money?
If this is your first hash, it is free. If you have hashed before, a trail usually has a hash fee of $7 to pay for beer and such. When we do pub crawls, it's usually $10 because beer is more expensive in bars.
Where can I get additional information about hashing?
http://www.nebraskahashing.com
http://talesfromthetap.blogspot.com
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hash_House_Harriers
http://www.half-mind.com/
http://vimeo.com/110386788*
https://vimeo.com/37700328**
* Edit October 30, 2014: Added link to video on vimeo. It's a short documentary of what it's like to go hashing.
** Edit April 19, 2016: Added link to video on video. It's another short documentary about hashing.
Hashing is like a cross between a beer-drinking game, a treasure hunt, and a nature walk. The participants break down into the following roles: the Hares (the person or people laying the trail), and the Harriers (the rest of the group). The Harriers will chase and attempt to catch the Hares, following marks the Hares leave on their trail. Hidden on the trail are also caches of beer and other beverages, both to refresh and delay the pursuers. It's a mixture of athleticism and sociability, hedonism and hard work; and an amusing break from the daily routine.
Do I have to run?
Heck no! Run is a four-letter word! The Omaha and Lincoln chapters have very few runners. We tend more toward the sociability and hedonism than the athleticism and hard work, here in Nebraska.
So you guys smoke hash, then?
Nope. We're about beer. The term "hashing" is derived from the name of the club - The Hash House Harriers. The H3 was founded in 1938 when a group of British chartered accountants in Kuala Lumpur started this game of Hares and Hounds. They named their club after the place they were staying, which was known for its monotonous food. If they'd known how often this name would be questioned in the decades to come, maybe they'd have chosen a name with a simpler explanation.
What do I need in order to participate?
A valid ID proving that you are over 21, a little energy, and a willingness to abandon yourself to the ridiculous for a few hours. You'll also probably want to be wearing comfortable sneakers, maybe some sunscreen and insect repellent (seasonal), long socks or pants that cover your legs to protect you from the foliage that you might be tromping through, clothing you wouldn't mind getting dirty or wet, and you might possibly want to bring a change of clothing in case you want something fresh to wear when we hang out afterwards. You want to avoid wearing jeans or brand new shoes, as they are violations of the Hashing Traditions.
Waitasec. Hashing Traditions? Violations? What's that all about?
Well, I told you that it's like a drinking game. Games have rules, right? Well, we don't have rules, but we do have Traditions. They are, by and large, ridiculously silly. We do not point with our fingers. We call each other only by our hash names. We do not wear denim. We do not wear new shoes. Stuff like that.
So what are the penalties for these violations?
We taunt you and then we make you drink beer. We are heartless and cruel.
Does this cost any money?
If this is your first hash, it is free. If you have hashed before, a trail usually has a hash fee of $7 to pay for beer and such. When we do pub crawls, it's usually $10 because beer is more expensive in bars.
Where can I get additional information about hashing?
http://www.nebraskahashing.com
http://talesfromthetap.blogspot.com
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hash_House_Harriers
http://www.half-mind.com/
http://vimeo.com/110386788*
https://vimeo.com/37700328**
* Edit October 30, 2014: Added link to video on vimeo. It's a short documentary of what it's like to go hashing.
** Edit April 19, 2016: Added link to video on video. It's another short documentary about hashing.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
OH3 #349 - Back to the Stockyards/Cinco de Mayo Pub Crawl Hash
This here’s a story ‘bout a man named Jed…
(No, wait a sec, that’s not right.)
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
(Hmm, no, that isn’t it either.)
Okay, so picture it, Sicily, 1942…
(Oh, for the love of – )
It was crisp and gorgeous, and we were wearing denim.
(Ooh, much better.)
We congregated in the Stockyard Plaza, and awaited the hares who would lead us on a merry chase through Little Tijuana. Having been instructed to dress in cowboy/cowgirl attire and/or dress for Cinco de Mayo, the little touches to the participants’ costumes made all the difference. Does This Mean it’s Over was stylin’ in his tight jeans and cowboy shirt. Thanks for the Mammaries was authentic in her chola eyebrow pencil and lip liner and Mexican flag bandana. I wore blue eyeshadow and turquoise jewelry. Master Beater made sure to inform us all repeatedly that he was wearing a shirt that had the word “Taco” on it.
The hares arrived. Sex Toy Story was absent, but Finger Wave was there with the “surprise guest hare from Mexico”, who was in fact Once Over Easy dressed in fishnets, a tight red dress, and a matching mariachi jacket and sombrero. It was so over the top that it was somehow believable that she has been lying about her ethnicity all along.
The hares were blessed and sent on their way. Then Deep Frodo arrived with his virgin, No Name Genie, and we went over the chalk talk again for her benefit. When a sufficient amount of time had elapsed, we began our jaunt through the HyVee parking lot, pointing out blobs of flour to the virgin, who was already racking up the violations by talking on her cell phone. We travelled for many long days and nights until we reached Donohue’s, about a block away. A block away. Really. Also, it’s an Irish pub. What happened to the theme? Sheesh.
The group rapidly drank their beers and watched the air force hashers sit stock-still with mostly-full cups. I thought the air force taught you how to drink, but apparently it teaches you how to cuddle with a beer until it turns warm and all your friends grow impatient. Finally, they finished and we pushed on-on. Well, most of us did.
Over the next few blocks, we made a few discoveries. We discovered that Tits Ahoy’s whistle sounds like a lonely falcon. We discovered that the police are THICK in that part of town. We also discovered that we no longer had Thanks for the Mammaries or Master Beater with us. *sigh.* We decided to press on without them and hope they’d catch up.
We came to a Hash Halt/Photo Op in front of some metal statues of cattle. We, being typical hashers, violated the cattle in various ways for the benefit of photography. The cattle exacted their revenge by ripping the pocket of my favorite jeans. Bastard metal cattle. *grumble.*
We pressed on, and managed to get lost and miss a turn. We spent a good 15 minutes or so correcting for this mistake, but eventually found trail again. We arrived at a bar that appeared to be called “Bar”. Therein we found some really friendly folks who shared chicken and funnel cakes with us. They also gave us wise advice since we were next going to be venturing into the Cinco de Mayo street fair – “put your wallets up under your titties so no one can get to ‘em unless you let them!” We accepted this sage suggestion, but I did not see any wallet-booby placement. Luckily, we did not pay for our arrogant disregard for their wisdom, since no one’s wallet was stolen.
The next leg of the journey brought us within the street fair. There was another Hash Halt marking, with a scrambly line that was to represent a funnel cake. It was a very good likeness, but they should have dusted some flour over it to represent powdered sugar, I think. Anyway, some people bought duros, some got cotton candy, and I bought a funnel cake since they didn’t have them at the Renaissance Festival I attended earlier in the day (no funnel cakes at a Ren Faire? Seriously? That’s simply unacceptable. But, I digress.)
After our various treats were purchased, we got lost in the street fair, following what we thought were hash marks, but which turned out to be powdered sugar from the funnel cake vendors. Once VW calibrated with Finger Wave via forbidden technology, we found our way back on the right trail. We then travelled a long stretch of road, and through some soccer fields where we found and played with a child’s bouncy ball in the dark, and eventually came to the end of trail, where Finger Wave and Once Over Easy were waiting with jello shots and chips with salsa and queso on the other side of a border crossing that contained a package check and a boob check. The chips were especially well liked by many people, and were the subject of much discussion.
Eventually, Finger Wave brought me and VW and Spring-Loaded Pussy back to where our cars were parked. VW and Spring piled into the front seat together, while I was all alone in the back seat. This is due to the fact that Spring and VW are incapable of being more than 4 inches apart for more than 40 seconds, and I happened to get in the car first.
VW and Spring headed (who said head?) back to ferry people to their cars, and I got into my car and drove home to put lidocaine on my feet and change my shoes from the instruments of torture that I had been wearing. Then I met the group at Winchester’s. The timing was ideal, as I had just enough time to put in my karaoke selection before we were heading to the beer garden to circle up.
The circle was a blast. Thanks for the Mammaries and Master Beater rejoined us, and Mammaries paid with a Deadbug and then a Towering Deadbug. Some of the Winchester’s regulars joined the circle and decided that they want to come on a hash in the future. We celebrated May birthdays and were reminded that Outdoor Fucking Season is now open – no license required! Much beer was consumed, and many songs were sung. We ended with the women’s version of Swing Low, and most of the group stayed for karaoke. When I left at 12:30ish, the group was still a respectable size and fun was continuing to be had.
So folks, thus ends another hash trash. Pictures and videos will be uploaded to http://www.nebraskahashing.com when Woody and I can find time to coordinate, but until then they will be made available on my Flickr Hash Set.
In Attendance:
Once Over Easy – hare
Finger Wave – hare
Flamboyatron
Tits Ahoy
Deep Frodo
No Name Genie – virgin
Virgin Whisperer
Spring-Loaded Pussy
Bush Beer on Tap
Does This Mean it’s Over
Thanks for the Mammaries
Master Beater
Hot Semen-tuh
Kitty Litter (for the on-in)
More pictures and videos from this trail can be found in my Flickr Hash Set.
(No, wait a sec, that’s not right.)
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
(Hmm, no, that isn’t it either.)
Okay, so picture it, Sicily, 1942…
(Oh, for the love of – )
It was crisp and gorgeous, and we were wearing denim.
(Ooh, much better.)
We congregated in the Stockyard Plaza, and awaited the hares who would lead us on a merry chase through Little Tijuana. Having been instructed to dress in cowboy/cowgirl attire and/or dress for Cinco de Mayo, the little touches to the participants’ costumes made all the difference. Does This Mean it’s Over was stylin’ in his tight jeans and cowboy shirt. Thanks for the Mammaries was authentic in her chola eyebrow pencil and lip liner and Mexican flag bandana. I wore blue eyeshadow and turquoise jewelry. Master Beater made sure to inform us all repeatedly that he was wearing a shirt that had the word “Taco” on it.
The hares arrived. Sex Toy Story was absent, but Finger Wave was there with the “surprise guest hare from Mexico”, who was in fact Once Over Easy dressed in fishnets, a tight red dress, and a matching mariachi jacket and sombrero. It was so over the top that it was somehow believable that she has been lying about her ethnicity all along.
The hares were blessed and sent on their way. Then Deep Frodo arrived with his virgin, No Name Genie, and we went over the chalk talk again for her benefit. When a sufficient amount of time had elapsed, we began our jaunt through the HyVee parking lot, pointing out blobs of flour to the virgin, who was already racking up the violations by talking on her cell phone. We travelled for many long days and nights until we reached Donohue’s, about a block away. A block away. Really. Also, it’s an Irish pub. What happened to the theme? Sheesh.
The group rapidly drank their beers and watched the air force hashers sit stock-still with mostly-full cups. I thought the air force taught you how to drink, but apparently it teaches you how to cuddle with a beer until it turns warm and all your friends grow impatient. Finally, they finished and we pushed on-on. Well, most of us did.
Over the next few blocks, we made a few discoveries. We discovered that Tits Ahoy’s whistle sounds like a lonely falcon. We discovered that the police are THICK in that part of town. We also discovered that we no longer had Thanks for the Mammaries or Master Beater with us. *sigh.* We decided to press on without them and hope they’d catch up.
We came to a Hash Halt/Photo Op in front of some metal statues of cattle. We, being typical hashers, violated the cattle in various ways for the benefit of photography. The cattle exacted their revenge by ripping the pocket of my favorite jeans. Bastard metal cattle. *grumble.*
We pressed on, and managed to get lost and miss a turn. We spent a good 15 minutes or so correcting for this mistake, but eventually found trail again. We arrived at a bar that appeared to be called “Bar”. Therein we found some really friendly folks who shared chicken and funnel cakes with us. They also gave us wise advice since we were next going to be venturing into the Cinco de Mayo street fair – “put your wallets up under your titties so no one can get to ‘em unless you let them!” We accepted this sage suggestion, but I did not see any wallet-booby placement. Luckily, we did not pay for our arrogant disregard for their wisdom, since no one’s wallet was stolen.
The next leg of the journey brought us within the street fair. There was another Hash Halt marking, with a scrambly line that was to represent a funnel cake. It was a very good likeness, but they should have dusted some flour over it to represent powdered sugar, I think. Anyway, some people bought duros, some got cotton candy, and I bought a funnel cake since they didn’t have them at the Renaissance Festival I attended earlier in the day (no funnel cakes at a Ren Faire? Seriously? That’s simply unacceptable. But, I digress.)
After our various treats were purchased, we got lost in the street fair, following what we thought were hash marks, but which turned out to be powdered sugar from the funnel cake vendors. Once VW calibrated with Finger Wave via forbidden technology, we found our way back on the right trail. We then travelled a long stretch of road, and through some soccer fields where we found and played with a child’s bouncy ball in the dark, and eventually came to the end of trail, where Finger Wave and Once Over Easy were waiting with jello shots and chips with salsa and queso on the other side of a border crossing that contained a package check and a boob check. The chips were especially well liked by many people, and were the subject of much discussion.
Eventually, Finger Wave brought me and VW and Spring-Loaded Pussy back to where our cars were parked. VW and Spring piled into the front seat together, while I was all alone in the back seat. This is due to the fact that Spring and VW are incapable of being more than 4 inches apart for more than 40 seconds, and I happened to get in the car first.
VW and Spring headed (who said head?) back to ferry people to their cars, and I got into my car and drove home to put lidocaine on my feet and change my shoes from the instruments of torture that I had been wearing. Then I met the group at Winchester’s. The timing was ideal, as I had just enough time to put in my karaoke selection before we were heading to the beer garden to circle up.
The circle was a blast. Thanks for the Mammaries and Master Beater rejoined us, and Mammaries paid with a Deadbug and then a Towering Deadbug. Some of the Winchester’s regulars joined the circle and decided that they want to come on a hash in the future. We celebrated May birthdays and were reminded that Outdoor Fucking Season is now open – no license required! Much beer was consumed, and many songs were sung. We ended with the women’s version of Swing Low, and most of the group stayed for karaoke. When I left at 12:30ish, the group was still a respectable size and fun was continuing to be had.
So folks, thus ends another hash trash. Pictures and videos will be uploaded to http://www.nebraskahashing.com when Woody and I can find time to coordinate, but until then they will be made available on my Flickr Hash Set.
In Attendance:
Once Over Easy – hare
Finger Wave – hare
Flamboyatron
Tits Ahoy
Deep Frodo
No Name Genie – virgin
Virgin Whisperer
Spring-Loaded Pussy
Bush Beer on Tap
Does This Mean it’s Over
Thanks for the Mammaries
Master Beater
Hot Semen-tuh
Kitty Litter (for the on-in)
More pictures and videos from this trail can be found in my Flickr Hash Set.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Hash catch-up
So let's see. I co-hared in Lincoln for LNEH3 #192, which was a kilted hash
... and I attended OH3 #348, which was a going-away for some hashers
I also attended a slew of other hashes that it appears I haven't been cataloging here. Oopsie.
I'm still working on getting the pics up on the NebraskaHashing site, but technical difficulties are in the way.
In the meanwhile, pics and videos from the afore-mentioned hashes and many others can be found on my Flickr site.
Alas, I will not be able to make it for the Lincoln hash this weekend, as I will be out of town.
... and I attended OH3 #348, which was a going-away for some hashers
I also attended a slew of other hashes that it appears I haven't been cataloging here. Oopsie.
I'm still working on getting the pics up on the NebraskaHashing site, but technical difficulties are in the way.
In the meanwhile, pics and videos from the afore-mentioned hashes and many others can be found on my Flickr site.
Alas, I will not be able to make it for the Lincoln hash this weekend, as I will be out of town.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
OH3 #328 - Voted Off the Island Hash
Hold the Meat (Hash Flash) and Flamboyatron (Hash Scribe) were both in attendance, so there will be an official write up at this link, here. However, I did take a few pictures, and this particular Hash was a milestone event for me, so I am certainly blogging about it! Moreover, because this is not an official Hash Trash, I don't have to be snarky and sarcastic and witty, and can say what I really feel. Of course, what I really feel is generally snarky and sarcastic and witty, so we'll see how that goes. Yay!
This was my Virgin Hare. I co-hared with Penguin Pucker and Deep Frodo, and they were really great teammates. They were supportive and cooperative and easygoing and are both altogether awesome people that I am really glad to have as friends.
The co-founders of the Omaha chapter (Forrest Gimp and On Her Knees) showed up after a long hiatus, and without warning. This was extremely intimidating for me because it was my first time haring, but it was also a great honor. It was a good thing they were on hand to run the circle at the end, since almost all of the officers were indisposed for one reason or another by that time.
There was a naming - No Name Amber became Package Checker. She likes her name, even if a little less than half of the voting-eligible attendees hated it. I think it suits her just fine.
There was a named hasher in attendance who was completely true to her name when, without having ever been introduced to me before or conversing with me, and upon hearing that I was named on my first hash, she pointedly told her virgin right in front of me that "real hashers" get named on their sixth hash. I guess, then, I am not actually a "hasher through and through," regardless of what the song states - a song, incidentally, that we ended up singing 6 or 7 times in the circle since there were kids in the area and we were hard-pressed to think up PG songs to sing! We really need to beef up our song repertoire.
I want to apologize to the hash for not having more water in the bags. I actually added more than is usually in the bags, but apparently not enough to meet the need. As for the rest of the gripes... well, I received feedback that the trail was too long, that the trail could have been tougher (granted that was just a comment from the founders about the length of our trails compared to the trails in other hashes and it was a comment made before the hash began), that the trail was too shiggified, and that the trail was too pavement. I am just going to accept that I can't please all of the people all of the time, and call the experience a relative success. I did manage to stay under budget, and I consider that to be a major win and a testament to my Wonder Jew powers.
However, something that is not a win is the fact that I got pretty badly sunburned. I know that my sunburn is nothing compared to the ones most of the rest of the hashers get regularly, but I have always been really careful about sun exposure due to having had cancer and having gone through chemo. I did not use sunscreen yesterday though I brought it for everyone, and I recognize that I am a dumbass for that. I deserve all the discomfort, and the weird appearance of the tan line that shows with most of the clothing that I wear. Here's hoping that I don't suffer the lesson of melanoma as well.
Anyway, without further ado, I will give you the pics I snapped. Remember also that you can view the ones that Hold the Meat and other hashers have supplied when they are posted to http://members.cox.net/nebraskahash/oh3/oh3hashtrash.html, and you can view pics and videos I have taken from other hashes I've attended at http://www.flickr.com/photos/jessicabragg/collections/72157605756416849/.
__________________________________________
Me and Forrest Gimp and On Her Knees (the co-founders of the Omaha Hash).
__________________________________________
Penguin Pucker (one of my co-hares).
__________________________________________
Deep Frodo (the other co-hare). He had to log in at work because he was on call. I think he decided that if he were going to be busted for technology on trail, he might as well go all out.
__________________________________________
The group is enjoying the A/C on a hot day.
__________________________________________
It wasn't exactly a theme hash, but I appreciate Thanks for the Mammaries' spirit in dressing in a tropical shirt.
__________________________________________
Our Hash Cash also seems to have gotten into the spirit. She done gone went and got lei'd.
__________________________________________
I think I interrupted the reunion between Flambo and Hold the Meat.
__________________________________________
Mammaries seems to have itchy feet and a desire to get moving.
__________________________________________
This was my Virgin Hare. I co-hared with Penguin Pucker and Deep Frodo, and they were really great teammates. They were supportive and cooperative and easygoing and are both altogether awesome people that I am really glad to have as friends.
The co-founders of the Omaha chapter (Forrest Gimp and On Her Knees) showed up after a long hiatus, and without warning. This was extremely intimidating for me because it was my first time haring, but it was also a great honor. It was a good thing they were on hand to run the circle at the end, since almost all of the officers were indisposed for one reason or another by that time.
There was a naming - No Name Amber became Package Checker. She likes her name, even if a little less than half of the voting-eligible attendees hated it. I think it suits her just fine.
There was a named hasher in attendance who was completely true to her name when, without having ever been introduced to me before or conversing with me, and upon hearing that I was named on my first hash, she pointedly told her virgin right in front of me that "real hashers" get named on their sixth hash. I guess, then, I am not actually a "hasher through and through," regardless of what the song states - a song, incidentally, that we ended up singing 6 or 7 times in the circle since there were kids in the area and we were hard-pressed to think up PG songs to sing! We really need to beef up our song repertoire.
I want to apologize to the hash for not having more water in the bags. I actually added more than is usually in the bags, but apparently not enough to meet the need. As for the rest of the gripes... well, I received feedback that the trail was too long, that the trail could have been tougher (granted that was just a comment from the founders about the length of our trails compared to the trails in other hashes and it was a comment made before the hash began), that the trail was too shiggified, and that the trail was too pavement. I am just going to accept that I can't please all of the people all of the time, and call the experience a relative success. I did manage to stay under budget, and I consider that to be a major win and a testament to my Wonder Jew powers.
However, something that is not a win is the fact that I got pretty badly sunburned. I know that my sunburn is nothing compared to the ones most of the rest of the hashers get regularly, but I have always been really careful about sun exposure due to having had cancer and having gone through chemo. I did not use sunscreen yesterday though I brought it for everyone, and I recognize that I am a dumbass for that. I deserve all the discomfort, and the weird appearance of the tan line that shows with most of the clothing that I wear. Here's hoping that I don't suffer the lesson of melanoma as well.
Anyway, without further ado, I will give you the pics I snapped. Remember also that you can view the ones that Hold the Meat and other hashers have supplied when they are posted to http://members.cox.net/nebraskahash/oh3/oh3hashtrash.html, and you can view pics and videos I have taken from other hashes I've attended at http://www.flickr.com/photos/jessicabragg/collections/72157605756416849/.
__________________________________________
Me and Forrest Gimp and On Her Knees (the co-founders of the Omaha Hash).
__________________________________________Penguin Pucker (one of my co-hares).
__________________________________________Deep Frodo (the other co-hare). He had to log in at work because he was on call. I think he decided that if he were going to be busted for technology on trail, he might as well go all out.
__________________________________________The group is enjoying the A/C on a hot day.
__________________________________________It wasn't exactly a theme hash, but I appreciate Thanks for the Mammaries' spirit in dressing in a tropical shirt.
__________________________________________Our Hash Cash also seems to have gotten into the spirit. She done gone went and got lei'd.
__________________________________________I think I interrupted the reunion between Flambo and Hold the Meat.
__________________________________________Mammaries seems to have itchy feet and a desire to get moving.
__________________________________________
Thursday, July 31, 2008
OH3 #327
Again, I am late with my write-up. I suck. I'll do a down-down for it or something.
#327 was Tico's Birthday Hash, and Dental DAMN!!'s naming hash (she was formerly No Name Amy), and I was only there from the circle on. I got some pics and videos, and they are all here. I don't have anything thoroughly brilliant to say (except wearing black jeans and a black linen shirt on a fucking hot day is a dumb idea), so I will just settle for linking you to the pics and videos.
News items:
1. I am haring this Saturday's hash. It will be my first hare. I am very excited. Check the calendar at http://www.nebraskahashing.com for details. I hope to see you there!
2. Flamboyatron is back! I will turn the trash-writing duties back over to him, and only fill in as needed if he is unavailable and asks me to do so. He'll be snarkier and funnier than I am anyway.
I still intend to take some pics and maybe write a few words every now and then, so check back if you're interested!
#327 was Tico's Birthday Hash, and Dental DAMN!!'s naming hash (she was formerly No Name Amy), and I was only there from the circle on. I got some pics and videos, and they are all here. I don't have anything thoroughly brilliant to say (except wearing black jeans and a black linen shirt on a fucking hot day is a dumb idea), so I will just settle for linking you to the pics and videos.
News items:
1. I am haring this Saturday's hash. It will be my first hare. I am very excited. Check the calendar at http://www.nebraskahashing.com for details. I hope to see you there!
2. Flamboyatron is back! I will turn the trash-writing duties back over to him, and only fill in as needed if he is unavailable and asks me to do so. He'll be snarkier and funnier than I am anyway.
I still intend to take some pics and maybe write a few words every now and then, so check back if you're interested!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
OH3 #326 - Red, White, and Blue Hash
Yeah, this is a little overdue. Sorry 'bout that.
We were asked to wear some combination of red, white and blue. Spring-loaded went all out with her outfit on a very hot day.
We chilled in the shade on the patio of the apartment beneath VW's. No name Jeff insisted that the apartment belonged to a close friend of his and that it would be okay. Who were we to argue?
It came time for the hashers to form up for the circle.
The group was composed largely of virgins...
Who were very soon singled out.
VW gave us the Chalk Talk. This would have been especially handy for the virgins if there had actually been a check at the start.
The hares were blessed and sent on their way.
Supergirl has the power of Juggling. Not only of many objects (as pictured below), but also of activities! She had to cut out early to go see her folks.
After the trail, and the circle, and the violations, and the viewing of Beerfest in the Thomasville movie theater, and the crock pot hot dogs, and the popcorn, and the smoking in non-smoking areas, and the spillage of beer, and Amber grabbing everyone's crotch and/or breasts in the swimming pool... those who remained enjoyed some beers and acoustic guitar playing on VW's balcony. It was a lovely night.
Urine Sodomy had a great time, as you can see below.
We were asked to wear some combination of red, white and blue. Spring-loaded went all out with her outfit on a very hot day.
We chilled in the shade on the patio of the apartment beneath VW's. No name Jeff insisted that the apartment belonged to a close friend of his and that it would be okay. Who were we to argue?
It came time for the hashers to form up for the circle.
The group was composed largely of virgins...
Who were very soon singled out.
VW gave us the Chalk Talk. This would have been especially handy for the virgins if there had actually been a check at the start.
The hares were blessed and sent on their way.
Supergirl has the power of Juggling. Not only of many objects (as pictured below), but also of activities! She had to cut out early to go see her folks.
After the trail, and the circle, and the violations, and the viewing of Beerfest in the Thomasville movie theater, and the crock pot hot dogs, and the popcorn, and the smoking in non-smoking areas, and the spillage of beer, and Amber grabbing everyone's crotch and/or breasts in the swimming pool... those who remained enjoyed some beers and acoustic guitar playing on VW's balcony. It was a lovely night.
Urine Sodomy had a great time, as you can see below.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
OH3 #325 Wedding Crash Hash Recap
The attendance was low due to the fact that so many hashers were attending the wedding of Path Defiler and Blowfish. So, of course, we crashed the wedding. Also, because so few of us were actually on trail, we did a "dead hare" and VW and Spring Loaded Pussy actually walked the trail with us.
Since they really "phoned in" their haring duties, I advised that my Hash Trash will be similarly low-effort.
I give you the OH3 #325 Wedding Crash Hash Recap, in haiku form:
Mosquitos bit usI'll be completely honest, though. Despite nearly losing my sneakers to a swamp, getting caught in the rain, being chewed on by mosquitos, and feeling completely out of place at the wedding reception of two people I have only met once before, I had a really great time.
The only thing that bit worse
Was the fucking trail
Anyway, here are a number of pictures I took... and below is a video of Frodo and his daughters singing karaoke.
Attendees:
VW (hare)
Spring Loaded Pussy (hare)
Tico Taz
No Name Amy
Penguin Pucker
Hand Tossed (5 year-lapsed hasher returned from the grave!)
Bush Beer on Tap
Sunday, June 15, 2008
My first hash trash
I've recently begun participating in an awesome activity on weekends. The club is called the Hash House Harriers, otherwise known as a drinking club with a running problem. A pretty decent explanation can be found here, and the site for my specific chapter (or kennel) is found here.
Here's a reposting of my first hash writeup, which was for my third hash:
Recap: Omaha Hash #323 - First Burn Hash
I'd already begun writing this when Urine Sodomy piped up and said he'd take over for Flamboyatron, but Urine was nice enough to let me write this recap since I'd already started, for which I am grateful. Y'know how it is... when someone else comes before I reach completion that's okay, as long as I get to finish too.
The day was bright and hot as we trickled into Buffalo Wild Wings. The mood was good and everyone was happy to see Hand Solo, back from the dead. Our group grew to an intimidating size - so intimidating, in fact, that the waitresses apparently were too scared to take orders, serve beers, and collect tips!
Eventually, everyone was gathered up by Cock Controller, who brought the pack out behind the BW3 and explained the marks he seemed to think he had used. He also gave the group his phone number before he sprinted off. The crowd was then entertained by Tico Taz singing a very amusing song about the days of the week and fisting. Then people wandered off for a few minutes, probably to find the men's room of every nearby establishment so that CC's number could be shared. Bronze Bunz awarded Hand Solo the Bra of Backsliding, which he manfully(?) donned.
After a short trip under a bridge and along a bike path, we reached a beer check, where Triple P caught up with us and Tico Taz fell into a hole (and didn't even get her name). Then we continued along the bike path until we saw Hand Solo doubling back along a street on the other side of a field. Being the lazy bastards we are, we gleefully cut across. The trail then meandered through a residential neighborhood where VW did some networking with the locals and gave out some of his hash cards, and Urine Sodomy got wood that lasted throughout the rest of the hash (if it lasts more than four hours, please call a doctor). We made it to a photo check we hadn't been warned we'd find, where VW promptly dropped someone's camera. Once the photos had been taken, we went on-on and were very fucking careful of thorns, as warned. Lost in Pi taught Thanks for the Mammaries a song to help her remember the digits of Pi, which is a good thing because now she knows that Pi begins with a 3. There was another beer check in some tall grass, but I was more like BUSHED Beer on Tap (AM I RITE LOL) and I decided to brave the possibility of insect bites and collapsed onto the ground. After many people helpfully offered a wide range of medical advice, we finished our beverages and then pushed through to look for the continuation of the trail.
After a while of not finding the trail, Bronze Bunz told me to go ahead and call Cock Controller, which I did. He said "go right", which I did. By the time I found the general area based on this detailed set of instructions, the pack was already picking up the marks on their own, which is a damned good thing because I wasn't very confident in the validity of "go right", anyway. Some of us climbed a gate, for which we received much ribbing from the folks who walked through the huge gap (still didn't get her name) that was two fence segments away from the gate we climbed. We then walked along a ridge until we came to the Turkey-Eagle split. All but a few folks decided to go for the Eagle. At the last minute, No Name Samantha and friends decided to switch to the Turkey, and did so by running down a steep hill. (Well - running down most of it... Sam decided that the last several feet might be more fun to traverse on her head.) Where the Turkey and Eagle met up, there was a Hash Halt. When the Eaglegoers finally caught up with the Turkeygoers, the pack progressed through some trees where it looked for a moment like the beer might have been stolen.
Finally we happened upon the beer at the final beer check. There was a declaration of necrophilia (from Hot Sement), and some spilling of alcohol (by Tico Taz?), and a hare was snared (though this hare was much cuter than Cock Controller, and was released back into the wild, where it was probably eaten by its mother for smelling like humans). We continued out of the wooded area and back out onto the street, where there was a K9 police car sitting on the street. Several hashers had some strangely paranoid reactions at seeing this. Hand Solo and No Name Nicki ranged out in different directions to find the trail, and the rest of the pack seemed satisfied to chill out at the corner and relax. No Name Nicki was the one who chose wisely, and the rest of us followed her up a hill and then down onto a pleasant little walking path that no one knew about. On this path, Tico Taz answered his phone to give people directions to where he believed the on-in would be, and I texted Cock Controller who had texted me because he was getting bored while waiting for us to show up. (We both drank for it later, of course.)
We then meandered through some more residential area, and into an apartment complex. A true trail arrow pointed people into a garage on one of the apartments, through which we walked to find the on-in and barbecue on the lawn on the other side. The apartment, unbeknownst to the hashers, belonged to Bush Beer on Tap (yours truly, this reporter) whose husband was there with Cock Controller, serving up grilled brats, barbecue wings, chips, and all manner of beverages.
After a short while, Urine Sodomy rounded everyone up for the circle. Violations were called, songs were sung, beers were consumed, and virgins were deflowered. Halfway through, we were joined by Hold the Meat, No Name Amber, and Deep Frodo, who brought his little hobbitlings with him. After the circle was dispersed, the hobbitlings expended copious amounts of youthful energy by running around and performing somersaults. Soon they were joined by Thanks for the Mammaries and No Name Vinie, who decided to have a drunken somersault race across the lawn, much to everyone's amusement. No Name Samantha and No Name Tasha were wrestling on the lawn as dusk began to fall.
I finally began encouraging people's departure, and people left to go attempt to find the on-after at Tico Taz's place, where I hear they finally arrived and watched some Carlos Mencia and drank some more alcohol.
In attendance were:
Cock Controller (hare)
Urine Sodomy
Penguin Pucker
Hand Solo
Tico Taz
Triple P
Bronze Bunz
Lost in Pi
Virgin Whisperer
Spring-loaded Pussy
Whack-A-Mole
Hot Sement
Bush Beer on Tap
Thanks for the Mammaries
No Name Anna
No Name Samantha
No Name Nicki
No Name Vinie (virgin)
No Name Tasha (virgin)
Hold the Meat (just for on-in)
No Name Amber (just for on-in)
Deep Frodo (just for on-in)
Frodo's hobbitlings (just for on-in)
Bush Beer on Tap's husband, Mike (whose patience and devotion are without bounds)
If I missed anyone or misspelled anyone's name, I apologize profusely. You may spank me for it at a later time. Email me for an appointment.
Love,
Bush Beer on Tap
(Originally posted on my other blog, 6/2/08)
Here's a reposting of my first hash writeup, which was for my third hash:
Recap: Omaha Hash #323 - First Burn Hash
I'd already begun writing this when Urine Sodomy piped up and said he'd take over for Flamboyatron, but Urine was nice enough to let me write this recap since I'd already started, for which I am grateful. Y'know how it is... when someone else comes before I reach completion that's okay, as long as I get to finish too.
The day was bright and hot as we trickled into Buffalo Wild Wings. The mood was good and everyone was happy to see Hand Solo, back from the dead. Our group grew to an intimidating size - so intimidating, in fact, that the waitresses apparently were too scared to take orders, serve beers, and collect tips!
Eventually, everyone was gathered up by Cock Controller, who brought the pack out behind the BW3 and explained the marks he seemed to think he had used. He also gave the group his phone number before he sprinted off. The crowd was then entertained by Tico Taz singing a very amusing song about the days of the week and fisting. Then people wandered off for a few minutes, probably to find the men's room of every nearby establishment so that CC's number could be shared. Bronze Bunz awarded Hand Solo the Bra of Backsliding, which he manfully(?) donned.
After a short trip under a bridge and along a bike path, we reached a beer check, where Triple P caught up with us and Tico Taz fell into a hole (and didn't even get her name). Then we continued along the bike path until we saw Hand Solo doubling back along a street on the other side of a field. Being the lazy bastards we are, we gleefully cut across. The trail then meandered through a residential neighborhood where VW did some networking with the locals and gave out some of his hash cards, and Urine Sodomy got wood that lasted throughout the rest of the hash (if it lasts more than four hours, please call a doctor). We made it to a photo check we hadn't been warned we'd find, where VW promptly dropped someone's camera. Once the photos had been taken, we went on-on and were very fucking careful of thorns, as warned. Lost in Pi taught Thanks for the Mammaries a song to help her remember the digits of Pi, which is a good thing because now she knows that Pi begins with a 3. There was another beer check in some tall grass, but I was more like BUSHED Beer on Tap (AM I RITE LOL) and I decided to brave the possibility of insect bites and collapsed onto the ground. After many people helpfully offered a wide range of medical advice, we finished our beverages and then pushed through to look for the continuation of the trail.
After a while of not finding the trail, Bronze Bunz told me to go ahead and call Cock Controller, which I did. He said "go right", which I did. By the time I found the general area based on this detailed set of instructions, the pack was already picking up the marks on their own, which is a damned good thing because I wasn't very confident in the validity of "go right", anyway. Some of us climbed a gate, for which we received much ribbing from the folks who walked through the huge gap (still didn't get her name) that was two fence segments away from the gate we climbed. We then walked along a ridge until we came to the Turkey-Eagle split. All but a few folks decided to go for the Eagle. At the last minute, No Name Samantha and friends decided to switch to the Turkey, and did so by running down a steep hill. (Well - running down most of it... Sam decided that the last several feet might be more fun to traverse on her head.) Where the Turkey and Eagle met up, there was a Hash Halt. When the Eaglegoers finally caught up with the Turkeygoers, the pack progressed through some trees where it looked for a moment like the beer might have been stolen.
Finally we happened upon the beer at the final beer check. There was a declaration of necrophilia (from Hot Sement), and some spilling of alcohol (by Tico Taz?), and a hare was snared (though this hare was much cuter than Cock Controller, and was released back into the wild, where it was probably eaten by its mother for smelling like humans). We continued out of the wooded area and back out onto the street, where there was a K9 police car sitting on the street. Several hashers had some strangely paranoid reactions at seeing this. Hand Solo and No Name Nicki ranged out in different directions to find the trail, and the rest of the pack seemed satisfied to chill out at the corner and relax. No Name Nicki was the one who chose wisely, and the rest of us followed her up a hill and then down onto a pleasant little walking path that no one knew about. On this path, Tico Taz answered his phone to give people directions to where he believed the on-in would be, and I texted Cock Controller who had texted me because he was getting bored while waiting for us to show up. (We both drank for it later, of course.)
We then meandered through some more residential area, and into an apartment complex. A true trail arrow pointed people into a garage on one of the apartments, through which we walked to find the on-in and barbecue on the lawn on the other side. The apartment, unbeknownst to the hashers, belonged to Bush Beer on Tap (yours truly, this reporter) whose husband was there with Cock Controller, serving up grilled brats, barbecue wings, chips, and all manner of beverages.
After a short while, Urine Sodomy rounded everyone up for the circle. Violations were called, songs were sung, beers were consumed, and virgins were deflowered. Halfway through, we were joined by Hold the Meat, No Name Amber, and Deep Frodo, who brought his little hobbitlings with him. After the circle was dispersed, the hobbitlings expended copious amounts of youthful energy by running around and performing somersaults. Soon they were joined by Thanks for the Mammaries and No Name Vinie, who decided to have a drunken somersault race across the lawn, much to everyone's amusement. No Name Samantha and No Name Tasha were wrestling on the lawn as dusk began to fall.
I finally began encouraging people's departure, and people left to go attempt to find the on-after at Tico Taz's place, where I hear they finally arrived and watched some Carlos Mencia and drank some more alcohol.
In attendance were:
Cock Controller (hare)
Urine Sodomy
Penguin Pucker
Hand Solo
Tico Taz
Triple P
Bronze Bunz
Lost in Pi
Virgin Whisperer
Spring-loaded Pussy
Whack-A-Mole
Hot Sement
Bush Beer on Tap
Thanks for the Mammaries
No Name Anna
No Name Samantha
No Name Nicki
No Name Vinie (virgin)
No Name Tasha (virgin)
Hold the Meat (just for on-in)
No Name Amber (just for on-in)
Deep Frodo (just for on-in)
Frodo's hobbitlings (just for on-in)
Bush Beer on Tap's husband, Mike (whose patience and devotion are without bounds)
If I missed anyone or misspelled anyone's name, I apologize profusely. You may spank me for it at a later time. Email me for an appointment.
Love,
Bush Beer on Tap
(Originally posted on my other blog, 6/2/08)
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