I've been drafted to write another recap, folks. First I'm the only one with a camera so the only pics with me in them are ones I took at Myspace angles with too much of my nostrils showing, and then to top it off, I get roped into writing the recap. Oh! I almost forgot! I also got talked into co-haring the next Lincoln hash with Bunzz! Why do I want to check my pockets to see if my wallet's been lifted, too?
But that's ok! Bush Beer on Tap can handle this! The pics are uploaded to http://www.flickr.com/photos/jessicabragg/sets/72157616058591330/detail/ and I'm still a little caffeinated, and I still remember most of what occurred!
The time was 4:00 PM. The car was Penguin Pucker's. The wind was cold. The lot was relatively empty. The visitors were alone.
But eventually, people began to show up. Once Over Easy walked over from WalMart (we know what you're doooooooooing!) and Lager Head pulled up, and soon afterward we were joined by Chap Dick and Bunzz and Pi. We had a little beer and determined we were to be the whole group, so we began chalk talk. We realized that there were no virgins, so Once Over Easy cut the talk short and started to sprint away. Someone pointed out that she hadn't been blessed, so she ran back for a quick blessing. Of course, it was Lost in Pi giving the blessing, so it was still a tad bit lengthy.
After we finished what we could of our beers (and good beers they were!) and ate a few handfuls of Skittles (no one made skittlebrau, though this reporter admits that she did indeed consider it), the pack craniumed out in the direction we imagined to be correct. It turned out to be one of the few times we would find trail so easily. The trail zig-zagged up and down the same hill, over and under the same barbed wire fence (which bit me, damnit - thank the gods I am up to date on my tetanus shots) several times, and brought us to the first Beer Near. We consumed some alcohol, and ranged out to find the trail. Well, to try to find the trail. What did we actually find? No fewer than three YBFs. Our hare clearly has a mean streak.
Finally, Bunzz found trail, and several people observed a large, long, black tubular object in the distance, which appeared to be ribbed - possibly for her pleasure, but who knows? I would not want to meet the "her" that could have been pleased by something that large. A couple of hashers noted that it was probably a good place for a Beer Near, while I was noticing the fact that we were in the middle of what would have been a sea of mud had the weather been snowy and rainy as was forecasted earlier in the week. Truly, I thought, Once Over Easy has more malice than can be accounted for by her tiny, tiny size. When we reached the big tube thing, we saw that it was not a Bear Near, but it was indeed a Shot Stop. Everyone had a couple of Jell-O shots and we resumed our course. Or rather, we resumed running into YBFs, both marked and unmarked. Eventually, Bunzz found some itty bitty little OOE-sized footprints and we found trail.
On and on we went, through more of what would have been soul- and sole-sucking mud had the weather been as predicted, until we came to a pile of rocks and the last Beer Stop. We drank and sat and chatted, and eventually went on again.
We walked through some more would-be mud, and Chap Dick was asked for probably the 4th or 5th time what the crop had been. For the record, to prevent any further requests for this information, it was soy beans, probably planted late because the planters needed to put something in the ground for cover and didn't care what because they knew they wouldn't be likely to harvest it, and the plants only got to be about calf-high instead of hip- or waist-high the way they could have if someone cared for them. This was the information I heard Chap Dick patiently tell at least 4 people. Seriously, guys.
And here's where it gets truly surreal, folks. Guess who was doing the pathfinding for much of the trail. No really, guess. It was Lost in Pi. I'm serious. He found trail no fewer than 3 or 4 times, and didn't get separated from the group even once. You should have heard him chirping away on his whistle! He was so proud of his discoveries, like a child who's just discovered nose-picking!
So once more we crossed the damned barbed wire, and re-entered the parking lot where we started, and Once Over Easy was standing there with the beer from the first stop, ready to do the circle. Since Bunzz forgot to leave her the car keys, she was cold. Of course, after all the YBFs she left, there was very little sympathy for her.
The circle was run and the violations doled out. The visitors treated the Lincolnites to a drunken rendition of a song from the musical they had listened to in the car on the way to the hash (it was the Bad Horse Chorus from Dr. Horrible, in case anyone's curious.) We were reminded that April 23 is Penguin Pucker's birthday. Once Over Easy wore headgear in the circle. There were no canoodling violations, as No Name Thomas was unfortunately unable to join me for this hash.
After the circle was closed, we went to Buster's for some post-hash sustenance. We consumed large quantities of pizza and ribs, and stayed around for some karaoke. Penguin Pucker and Lost in Pi treated the bar to Amazing Grace, and Lager Head and myself each sang a few songs. The last song we stayed for was Sweet Caroline, since Once Over Easy said we were not permitted to leave until we sang it.
Goodbyes were said and hugs were exchanged, and this reporter craniumed back to Omaha with Penguin Pucker. We listened to the Natalie Portman Rap on the way back, and I am pretty sure I snorted while I laughed. I have nothing else to report, except that I had a wonderful, wonderful time!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
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